Start Exploring

Writing this first blog post has me in a unique state of quietness and hesitancy.  My words tend to easily flow from out of my mouth, yet by my hands it is a much more sluggish process.  I hope that as I muse over sexual issues, relationship challenges, and how they relate to current events and even sports,  that you the reader, can open your mind, learn, explore, challenge and enjoy it!

My new adventures of blogging correspond with the beginning of my attempts to write a book.  After thinking over my message, interests, and target audience, I’ve have decided that football and sex are a great combination….I could add food to that one but it will have to wait. In the beginning stages of researching the current offerings on sex and football, the book offerings appear slim. Even slimmer is the google search of the combination of ‘sex and football’ which leads to sex scandals from football players and a few book links, yet nothing about combining two great passions.

A handful of authors have attempted to use the analogies offered in football and relate them to relationships, yet upon a brief viewing, they appear full of romantic ideologies.  I want to use the sport and parallel it to ways to improve your sex life, actually enjoy your partner, and enhance your desire both inside and outside of the bedroom.  Despite many books on romance that focus on ‘the one’, ‘your soul mate” or ‘knight in shining armor’,  I want to get real.  Real sex, real people, real foibles, real temptations and hopefully real fun!

I do not believe in the idea of the ‘soul mate’ or ‘the one’. This just fuels our fantasies of the perfect partner, perfect life and perfect ending. Outcome: disappointment, disappointment, disappointment.  Lets try out the ideas of the ‘knight in rusty armor’, that ‘certain someone’ which you’re attracted to-has similar values and interest- you really enjoy being around- enhances who are you are as an individual….that sounds much better to me.  I am for certain as I put this book together:  romance is out, and empowerment/learning/adventures are IN.

As a start to my book research, I purchased “Take your Eye off the Ball” by Pat Kirwan (popular NFL analyst) and hope as I read I can easily make a connection between football and our sex lives.  I was so excited when in the introduction alone,  I read: “Television delivers a visually compelling experience when it comes to covering a live game, its just that the in depth football content often is unexplored.” (pg. xii).  What do you think  of when you read this comment and think of sex?

My thoughts: Porn!

Pornography can be a “visually compelling experience'”,  stimulating, fun for fantasy, and even on occasion improve our sex life, yet the realism of it all,  is that so much of the content of sex  is “often unexplored”.  Mainstream porn is full of thin, tan bodies, large breasts, and overtly fake orgasms; males always ready for sex, with not only an available partner but an aroused one, large penises,  projectile ejaculations,  who is craved by a room of lustful women of which he can please for hours on end without ejaculating too quickly, and  he doesn’t seem concerned about losing his erection  let alone his interest. Porn shows a seemingly idealized view of what others think sex is….supposed to look…supposed to last…supposed to be. It leaves so much out of what real sex is about.  Televised Football and Sex leave so much unexplored!  So ‘Start Exploring’!

About Anton Therapy

As a psychotherapist specializing in sexual concerns, I believe that communication and compromise, with a playful and open attitude are key components to a healthy intimate life. I infuse compassion, enthusiasm and a collaborative approach in treatment that puts clients at ease in discussing such personal topics. I hope this blog helps to open your mind, promote healthy sex, and encourages you to have a desire for intimacy and life! View all posts by Anton Therapy

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