Ochocino was too fast on the bull, lasting only 1.5 seconds; Do you ever wonder if you’re too fast?

Many men worry they are too quick to ejaculate during sex.   Rapid ejaculation is noted  as the highest sexual concern (dysfunction) listed by men aged 18-59, with a rate of  25-45%.  So how fast is too fast?

Ochocinco was too fast during his recent bull ride this past weekend where he rode a mere 1.5 seconds. To top it off he appeared to be full of braggadocio both before and after the very short ride.

http://youtu.be/OGAJ8ctgTuo                  (This is a shot of the bull with Ocho falling off the left side)

In order for a bull rider to score points, they must ride a minimum of 8 seconds.   In this case 8 seconds is the goal–that wouldn’t work so well in the bedroom. Bull riding is scored on two fronts: the rider and the bull.  When judging the rider, points are given for control, rhythm and matching the movement of the bull, style and spurring.  This scoring style humorously parallels positives in the bedroom: rhythm, matching partner, and style.

Eight seconds is the goal on the bull, in the bedroom 3 to 13 minutes is considered ‘good enough’. If you are having a full body love play session, a typical time frame is 45 minutes.  How does good sex range from 3 minutes to 45?

Type…timing…stimulation…mutual desires…context

Three minutes is great for a quickie! Grab your partner, bend them over the kitchen table and bam- 3 minutes fun and playful sex.  It works. This would not continue to work if it were the only style you used. Your partner would just look at their watch, whistle, and its done. It also wouldn’t work so well to have 45 minute sex bent over the kitchen table…say bruises and leg cramps anyone?  While being the ‘giver’ of (oral) sex to a man, three minutes can be preferable over the 10 to 15 minute my jaw is hurting, I’m occasionally gagging, and ready to breathe regularly now, sex .

If you were planning a full romantic night and just started with the love play and oh my…not yet…3 minutes- it might not feel too satisfying. Good enough sex shows a great level of variety and its all within context. 3 minutes great here, fail there.  When speaking with men about their concerns related to rapid ejaculation, it seems they most often judge intercourse as the fastest orgasm inducer.  When someone is engaged in a 45 minute love play session…with mutual or self masturbation, oral sex and intercourse plus, they have a stop start, restart stimulating whole body method; therefore not receiving a 100% direct and non stop penile stimulus.  If the man is engaging in intercourse only: going for the pure thrusting motion without stop, he receives a constant level of friction, tightness and speed. This combination is very stimulating and without a withdraw, change of stimulus, breather…most men ejaculate in 3 to 5 minutes.  So stop judging yourself, realize intercourse feels great and to keep your erection lasting longer add diversity, breathe and enjoy.

When you take your mind off of the pleasure of the feelings and satisfaction of being with your partner and instead focus on ‘don’t cum’ thoughts….you have just ended good sex. You have disengaged from pleasure and engaged in performance oriented, self judging sex. No fun!  The whole ‘whose on third base’ thoughts on baseball to reduce your focus on the stimulation or pleasure you’re receiving also distracts or disengages you.  Focus on the pleasure, the person, the experience, and Enjoy! Performance is out and Pleasure is in. You and your partner can decide if you feel ejaculation is happening too quickly to your mutual satisfaction.

Remember just because you have an orgasm doesn’t mean sex is over, its over when both you and your partner decide.

In  bull riding, once you’re off the bull- you’re done.  In sex, once you ejaculate you still have hands and a mouth and can continue the ‘ride’.

About Anton Therapy

As a psychotherapist specializing in sexual concerns, I believe that communication and compromise, with a playful and open attitude are key components to a healthy intimate life. I infuse compassion, enthusiasm and a collaborative approach in treatment that puts clients at ease in discussing such personal topics. I hope this blog helps to open your mind, promote healthy sex, and encourages you to have a desire for intimacy and life! View all posts by Anton Therapy

2 responses to “Ochocino was too fast on the bull, lasting only 1.5 seconds; Do you ever wonder if you’re too fast?

  • Huff

    There does seem to be a great deal of emphasis on the male orgasm as the end to the act of sex. Maybe if we treated it as merely a pause in the whole “pleasuring experience”, as with the female orgasm, and just carried on then men wouldn’t have to worry about how long they lasted because they’d be happily on their way to the next. I guess it just depends how “encouraging” the partner is to get us over that post-orgasm lethargy (Is there a proper term for that?).
    I hope this all makes sense? 🙂

  • The T

    Ms. Anton…I have a different opinion on the male response… I am incapable of having an orgasm through physical means…I have to have a mental draw to bring me to climax….sometimes I don’t cum at all… of course I use this completely to my advantage and can orgasm nearly at will after 30-45 minutes of letting ideas and thoughts cook into my head…

    I’m not sure what brought me to this point where I couldn’t replicate the same thing from physical touch, however, I’ve looked at it as a gift..and indeed it has been.

    I have worked long and hard to make certain that my evenings with a girl are well remembered and I want the mental imprint of my actions with a girl to not disappear once I might be out of a relationship…

    Maybe it’s a pride thing, maybe it’s a opportunity to not be compared to the next guy that comes down the pike… I do feel more than confident howver that I always finish by making certain my girl has been well cared for… taking the time to enjoy her is a joy….I want her to feel that she doesn’t have to worry about that 10 extra pounds…I want her to know that my fingertips have magic that spills across her skin when I touch her….I want her to feel as though it’s amazing to leave the light on…always the type of sex where it’s hard to speak after we’re finished… that is heartstopping passion…

    T.

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