Performance Pressure: Jay Cutler Style….and yours?

Many have speculated on Chicago Bears Quarter Back, Jay Cutlers, football performance for this upcoming season

All eyes are watching….will he flop (yes I know he was injured) as he did in last seasons NFC championship game?

Saturdays preseason game, the  Bears v. Bills, showed only a little Cutler action.

He was off the field after only one series (yes I know its preseason, but most of us wanted a least a little more of his time on the field).

According to AP Writer Andrew Seligman, “The way Cutler was running around, it sure felt like last season. Sacked a league-leading 52 times a year ago, there wasn’t much he could do Saturday with the defense bearing down on him. At least this one didn’t end with a knee injury or with the outside attacks on his toughness, as his previous appearance at Soldier Field…”

To top that off, the Bears Beat  noted Cutler in their  “Hall of Shame” statistic: “FOX displayed a graphic that noted that Cutler is the first Bears quarterback in franchise history to pass for more than 3,000 yards in consecutive seasons, which he did between 2009 and 2010. That clearly defines just how bad quarterbacking has been in this city for so long because that statistic is awful. Some franchises have consecutive 3,500- to 4,000-yard passers these days.”

Even with a Bears win, Cutler remains under the microscope for his performance.

Three more preseason games to go before his official launch on September 11th against the Falcons.

That’s when we’ll see Cutler’s real performance.

Aren’t you glad you aren’t under such pressure (maybe you wouldn’t mind with his paycheck)?

Yet, sometimes you ARE under such pressure; its just different circumstances with  less viewers, limited critics, and a few fans.

Its the pressure men place on themselves in the bedroom, on their sex life!

Imagine being Cutler and  having a whole field, sport pundits, fans and TV viewers to rely on you, grade your performance, and even let others know their full opinion of your game play.

Luckily, in our sex lives, its a much more private affair.  Despite this privacy, men tend to put high pressures on themselves as if they were in Cutlers shoes.

The pressure is on!

You may be thinking of:

Your erection (will it get up, come on get up, whats your problem! better stay hard, better use it quick before it goes down)

Your  ability to orgasm or not to orgasm too quickly (don’t cum, don’t cum, wait, wait….oops)

Whether you’re partner is enjoying the sex

Will you get more sex

Will she/he be pleased

Will you have the right moves (your hands, tongue, mouth, penis)

When one focuses so much on the ‘performance’ aspect of sex, they loose the perspective of pleasure and having good sex  (which is what we all want right?).

So we’re lucky, limited viewers, low pressure, with the only exception…..the pressure you place upon yourself.

Penises can be like adolescents, if you tell them to do something, they often want to do just the opposite.

If you focus so much on an erection, your penis will make up his own stubborn mind and it often isn’t the answer you want.

If you are worried about ejaculating then you have again started the mind game that takes your focus off of your partner, your pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction, and instead on the ‘end result’.

If the only goal of sex was to have an orgasm, most of us would just stick with masturbation, as an orgasm is near guaranteed with ourselves.

We want sex with others because it heightens our pleasure, our experience and adds a whole new dimension.

Switch your brain to these questions:

Does this feel good?

Do I like this touch/stimulation?

Am I enjoying touching my partner?

Is this fun/passionate/open/respectful?

If you answer YES to these questions, then performance is OUT of the window and pleasure is IN!

Many in sports psychology will tell you that the person has to shut out the criticism, the viewers, and being under the microscope of fame, and to instead focus only on the task at hand.

You. The Ball. The Team. The PLAY.

In the bedroom, it is best to focus on:

You. Your Partner. Pleasure.  PLAY!

So lets excitedly watch the Bears this season.

Jay Cutler will do whatever he can do, even with the pressure. (cautiously optimistic)

You on the other hand can choose if pressure is a part of your style…..or if you would rather choose PLEASURE.

About Anton Therapy

As a psychotherapist specializing in sexual concerns, I believe that communication and compromise, with a playful and open attitude are key components to a healthy intimate life. I infuse compassion, enthusiasm and a collaborative approach in treatment that puts clients at ease in discussing such personal topics. I hope this blog helps to open your mind, promote healthy sex, and encourages you to have a desire for intimacy and life! View all posts by Anton Therapy

3 responses to “Performance Pressure: Jay Cutler Style….and yours?

  • G

    Well its not really like men put themselves in pressure. In my sex life with my wife, it is my responsibility to cause my wife to have orgasms. Their intensity, quality and frequency are all my faults.

  • G

    What I meant was, according to her, it is my responsibility ……..

    • Anton Therapy

      It sounds as if there are some unrealistic expectations in the bedroom. I would encourage you to speak with your wife about reciprocal pleasure and how only we can give ourselves orgasms to which our partner merely encourages through stimulation. Say no to pressure and yes to pleasure! Thanks for the comment, Good luck!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: