Monthly Archives: September 2011

Sex: “The Female Orgasm”

Discussing the female orgasm.  Stimulation, Timing, Communication, Pleasure and Fun.

Did I say, ‘direct clitoral stimulation’, Ahhh yes I believe I did.

Here’s to smart, safe, fun sex and hopefully an orgasm.

Sex, too early?

A recent article in the New York Times entitled Cheap Dates: How the price of sex has dropped to record lows, surmised 25% of young women are having sex within the first week of dating, therefore drastically reducing the ‘costs’ of sex and lowering marriage rates.

In essence, men are getting more bang for their buck.

Thirty percent of young men’s sexual relationships involve no romance at all.

No wooing

No dating


Just sex.

With a lower social ‘price’ for sex, the expectations of the males’ role in dating and in potential future marriage drastically changes.

This sounds like the old adage of ‘why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free’.

Mayrav Saar puts it bluntly, “If women collectively decided to cross their legs, the price of sex would soar and women would regain control of the market. Like a whoopie cartel.”

In other words, use sex as a tool to lure men into your ‘venus fly trap’ in order to gain a marriage proposal!

If sex is a pawn, the only benefactor may be your vibrator.

Patti Stanger, the Hollywood ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ recommends no sex until there is an exclusive committed monogamous relationship.  Her goal of course is to get you from first date to engaged in one year and married soon after.

What about women who would like a relationship, aren’t obsessed with marriage, and love having sex.

It doesn’t seem fair to hold out until an exclusive committed monogamous relationships occurs.

We don’t buy a car without test driving it, how can one decide to become monogamous with a partner, if they haven’t tasted all the other has to offer?

This  just wait, increase the social price, get a commitment first message, seems to me just another way to shame women back into a sexual repressive time.  This message appears to be backed by our cultures double message regarding male/female sexual activity.

I haven’t seen an article targeted to males that emphasizes waiting to engage in sex with their partner to increase the chances of a marriage (outside of the religious abstinence till marriage message).

If the beginning of a relationship is based more on sexual attraction and activity and less on interest, values, commonality, and so on, its not likely to go long term.

This doesn’t seem to be about sex too early, but about really liking the person outside of the bedroom.

The low cost of sex can remain as it may, yet uncrossing your legs when you’re interested, aroused, safe and smart…..sounds like an enjoyable choice to me. 

You decide when the time is right, whether that’s in the first week or not.

Pirate Sex

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

In homage, I wrote this very short  Pirate Sex Tale.

Yo Ho Ho,

Ahoy Buccaneer, Me ‘beauty be a callin’

Com’on shiver down me timbers,

Put ye here scurvy scallywag hands up’here on me buxom breasts’

Give ye pirate booty some salwoggin!

Meself is a’cravin

Thar ye go!

Arrrrr, bring yer cock ’round and up,

ready ye sails.

Got me a case o’th’horny britches

Se’here me buried treasure

N we’go Matey’s.

Heave Ho.

Heave Ho.

Pink, hot, wet me be.

Keep a’play’n ‘n me treasure box.

Pillage me’puss

Yer Cutlass pok’n meself  so’good

Arrrrr Bucko wit’ yer cock so hard’n me, I’ah  I ‘ah….Thar me blow.

Yo Ho Ho Go Get Ye’ some Booty.

Sex and Football

Its time!

NFL and College Football is back!

The games are on, we’re cheering, yelling, praying and at times doing ridiculous rituals to promote our team to a victory.  Don’t forget the obsessive checking of our fantasy football stats.

In an article I wrote for the bleacher report, entitled ‘Football + Sex + Pastrami Sandwich = Heaven’

I allude to the pleasures of football, sex and food.  It appears easy to get the food aspect in during a game, yet what about sex?

Why do we need to skip sex while watching a football game or even wait until half-time?

One could easily have had sex on Saturday throughout the Michigan vs. Eastern Michigan game with a final score of Michigan 31 v. Eastern 3.  Or Purdue 59 v SE Missouri 0 (and Purdue’s even on their 3rd string QB,  SE must really stink). Or even Ohio State 6 v.  Miami (FL) 24 (so long Tressel)

Those games needed some spicing up.   Go ahead have a sex romp,  you aren’t going to miss much.

The field is open and so is your sex schedule.

It is much harder to determine the right time for sex when the game is really going: close calls, a tight game , killer plays and even injuries, we want to see it all!

Yesterdays Eagles 31 v. Falcons 35, was one such game, with Vicks head to head collision with his teammate that caused a concussion, its hard to take your eyes off the screen.  Well I guess when Vick walked off the field during the 3rd quarter we could’ve shifted our attentions, as the Eagles scored nothing in the last quarter.

Another exciting game played yesterday was by the Cardinals 21 v. Redskins 22, the fourth quarter was a nail biter and the Redskins came in for the win with a field goal.

So how do we go about getting the tri-fecta and more (football, sex, computer for fantasy stats, beer and food).

Timing and the sexual behavior which one engages in is key.

During an exciting game, go for the blow job.  Sit in your recliner, TV in front of you, computer/beer/food on table near you and the person of your fancy between your legs.  Remember to look down, don’t forget the hand in our hair, the moans and more. Plus if your partner doesn’t swallow, you’ll have napkins close by.

This morning I read an excellent erotic short story regarding oral sex and football, I highly recommend you click to read:

All in the Eyes

Another option is the handjob.  Get out some buffalo wings, turn on college ball and relive your old days with a handjob. I recommend lotion vs. KY lubes for a handjob.  It moisturizes your partners hands, smells good and leaves you nice and soft afterward without the need to clean up sticky lube.

When its getting later in the evening on a Sunday night (best and most popular time couples have sex in the U.S.), a great option is the rear entry or doggie style on the bed.  You and your partner face the screen,  enjoying intercourse with the game right in front of you.  Rear entry is one of the most popular positions for both males and females due to the intensity, tightness and friction.  Plus the male has two free hands to stimulate the breasts, buttocks, clitoris and more.

Enjoy football and get on your game!

Sex and Football what a great combo.

Sex Maniacs: Bed Bugs and Us?

We have an outbreak of bed bugs in high profile places particularly in major city hotel rooms.  Scientist says one main reason for the proliferation of bed bugs is due to their sex maniac status.

Bed bugs not only like to have a lot of sex, they also appear to be into Sadistic Masochistic sex.

They engage in whats called Traumatic Insemination.   The male bed bug pierces or stabs the female’s abdomen with his penis and injects his sperm through the wound and into her abdomen.  I guess  it ‘hurts so good’.   (mind you males also attempt traumatic insemination with other male bugs due to size and color and not gender)

A humorous account of bed bug mating is enacted by Isabella Rosillini in Green Porno.


Female bed bugs mate five times after a feeding (on blood that is).

Five times in one night after a full belly….hmmm….impressive!!

Yet I hear frequent concerns when one partner wants to have sex  five times in one week.

One partner will say ‘so & so….always wants it!’  and the other ‘so & so….never wants it!’.

It is common to have differing sex drives than our partner.

Couples experience a ‘syncing’ in sex drive during the beginning stage of the relationship, which is fuels by dopamine and adrenaline, as well a ‘re-syncing’ of sex in our longer term relationships on vacations.

Since differing drives are a near guarantee in long term relationships, how do we determine if   one person is a ‘sex maniac’ or if one is a ‘prude’?

We can look at statistics which give us a range for the 30+year old couple engaging in   intercourse on average two to three times per week.

So more than 4x week  is a sex maniac?

Less than two is a prude?


Despite this being the so-called average,   ‘sex freak’/’cold fish’ titles can only be  determined through the specific couples sexual style.

I’d like to get rid of these ridiculous labels all together and instead just acknowledge different drives.

How much sex is too much?

You decide.

How much sex is not enough?

You decide.

In handling sex drive differences, it is important to compromise.

The higher libido partner takes one step down and the lower partner takes a step up.

Added to this is respecting each others drives without labels or blame.

Open mindedness is vital to obtaining a sex drive balance.

An example of how to balance drives would be for one partner to nicely rub on the others chest and arms while he/she masturbates or the higher drive partner may use a sex toy after couple sex (a minute after or an hour after) if stimulation is still requested and your partner is wiped out.

Many more examples include incorporating some pornography,spicing up every day sex, engaging in low demand sexual behaviors, sex talk/texting and massage.

The bed bugs can keep their ‘Sex Maniac’ status, we can balance our drives and enjoy the richness of a hot, passionate, sex life.

No maniacs, prudes or bed bugs allowed.

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