A recent article in the New York Times entitled Cheap Dates: How the price of sex has dropped to record lows, surmised 25% of young women are having sex within the first week of dating, therefore drastically reducing the ‘costs’ of sex and lowering marriage rates.
Thirty percent of young men’s sexual relationships involve no romance at all.
With a lower social ‘price’ for sex, the expectations of the males’ role in dating and in potential future marriage drastically changes.
Mayrav Saar puts it bluntly, “If women collectively decided to cross their legs, the price of sex would soar and women would regain control of the market. Like a whoopie cartel.”
In other words, use sex as a tool to lure men into your ‘venus fly trap’ in order to gain a marriage proposal!
Patti Stanger, the Hollywood ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ recommends no sex until there is an exclusive committed monogamous relationship. Her goal of course is to get you from first date to engaged in one year and married soon after.
What about women who would like a relationship, aren’t obsessed with marriage, and love having sex.
It doesn’t seem fair to hold out until an exclusive committed monogamous relationships occurs.
We don’t buy a car without test driving it, how can one decide to become monogamous with a partner, if they haven’t tasted all the other has to offer?
This just wait, increase the social price, get a commitment first message, seems to me just another way to shame women back into a sexual repressive time. This message appears to be backed by our cultures double message regarding male/female sexual activity.
I haven’t seen an article targeted to males that emphasizes waiting to engage in sex with their partner to increase the chances of a marriage (outside of the religious abstinence till marriage message).
If the beginning of a relationship is based more on sexual attraction and activity and less on interest, values, commonality, and so on, its not likely to go long term.
This doesn’t seem to be about sex too early, but about really liking the person outside of the bedroom.
You decide when the time is right, whether that’s in the first week or not.