Monthly Archives: January 2012

Naughty Newt

“Newt Gingrich is so pro-marriage, he can’t stop doing it. He is so morally upright, that he’s only had sex after he was married. Just not always to the woman he was married to.” —Stephen Colbert

“In a new interview, Newt Gingrich says he cheated on two of his wives because he was too consumed with love for his country. Yeah, apparently he misunderstood the phrase, ‘Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.'” —Conan O’Brien

By now, most of us are aware of the recent snafu at the Republican Primary Debate where moderator John King opened the event by asking Newt Gingrinch about his ex-wife’s claim that he asked her for an open marriage.

Fireworks at CNN Debate

In my opinion, the only reason this story is relevant is due to Newt’s strong stance on traditional family values.

I had no care that President Clinton received oral sex by another while married.  His sexual behavior did not affect me and it should not have affected our country.

But we’re a sex obsessed culture, who feeds off  scandals, and does an excellent job distracting us from real life concerns.

I am even  a proponent for open marriage as an alternative to traditional monogamy, so why am I bothered about Newt?


The whole ‘practice what you preach’ philosophy.

We have seen over and over again the ones admonishing sex in society,  are in deed acting out on those same admonishments.

Ted Haggard.

Jimmy Swaggart.

Jim Bakker.

Senator David Vitter.

Larry Craig.

George Alan Rakers.

Coy Privette.,,28804,1721111_1721210_1906894,00.html

I selected the above men due to the wonderful mix of sex, religion and politics (three of my favorite topics).

Yet this can be a toxic mix if your message or values oppose your own behavior.

The Kings of Hypocrisy.

If you want to take a stand on a topic such as traditional marriage, I assume you are also engaging in such a  marriage yourself.

Newt- I can care less how you get your rocks off,  just get off your soap box.

When marriage rights are prevented to gay and lesbian couples because supporters such as the Duplicitous Newt Gingrinch emphasize marriage is ‘supposed’ to be between one man and one woman.

Then hypocrisy flourishes while human rights are denied, judged, demoralized.

Newt, get honest, live your life as you wish.

Be a Naught Newt.

Leave your bedroom politics out of our homes, relationships and our country.  Leave traditional marriage to those who wish you have one and give others the right to be in one.

“Oh Doll Face, I Love You”, The Strange Fetish of Adult Sex Dolls

While perusing the “Buzz Feed” website , a video clip came up which highlighted unusual addictions and fetishes.

Click here for the article and video clips:

10 Strange Fetishes and Addictions, (balloons, bubble gum, eating chalk, etc)

The TLC  channel has a series titled, “My Strange Addiction”, which highlights various oddities such as the adult doll fetish.

The top of the line adult erotic doll is created by “Realdoll”.

One can choose body shape, height, weight, shoe size, breast size, hair/eye/nail polish, skin color, hair style and even your pubic hair preference with a list of colors from which to select. So the drapes don’t necessarily have to match the carpet.

Your ‘perfect’ woman.

With penetrable orifices in the mouth, vaginal and anal area.

A male version is also available or you can just purchase the ‘bottoms up’ model which is merely a part section of the behind and upper thigh.

Go ahead, order one.  It comes with a cost: the base line model sells for $5999.00.

I guess that is cheaper than 10 years worth of dates. Real woman can be pretty expensive, of which I reminded of by my own husband.

While watching an episode clip, I was taken by a man living in the Detroit area who lives with and has a long term relationship with…..his adult doll.

This gentleman, named Davecat, appears to interact with his ‘doll’ in a highly anthropomorphic manner.

Sleeping and eating together, dressing and grooming her, even posing for couples photos together as well as giving her an individualized personality full of interests, wants and desires.

I bet her libido is a PERFECT match for his.

Most of us are familiar with the blow up sex doll at a bachelor party, yet where did this all come from?

The dame de voyage (French) or dama de viaje (Spanish) was a direct predecessor to today’s sex dolls that originated in the seventeenth century. Dames de voyage were makeshift fornicatory dolls made of sewn cloth or old clothes, used by French and Spanish sailors while isolated at sea during long voyages.

“In August 1955, Max Weissbrodt of the Hausser/Elastolin company created one of the first sex dolls to be marketed as such: an 11.5-inch plastic figurine named Bild Lilli, modeled after the hypersexualized appearance of a cartoon character named Lilli”

The readily available blow up doll can be purchased for around $100 yet the imitation is poor, the orifices are more of a beach ball with a hole vs the top of the line silicon product of today.

If the price is to high, or you’re just not sure if the doll is for you, no worry, you can fly to Toyko to rent a doll and a room at Doru no Mori.  Take it on a test drive.

The future of sex dolls appears to be: CybOrgasMatrix or True Companion dolls, as they are using “an innovative material—a very elastic gel with a strong shape memory, which they have shown in side-by-side tests is superior to silicone in elasticity, shape memory, and durability. Additional options: heat, a pelvic thruster motor, audio dialogue, personality types: shy, horny,experienced, young…..a real SEX BOT.

To purchase a Cyborgasmatrix female torso appears to be more affordable, as  this one is just under $1000.00. This torso has less aesthetics than the real doll, yet looking at the features of heat, audio and pelvic thrusts, may make her more ‘attractive’ to a buyer.

How freaky is this sex doll fetish?

If used on occasion it can provide as an instance source of sexual gratification without any effort, energy or talking afterwards.

The key word is ‘occasionally’.

And yes it is ‘freaky,’ but its only in excess that it’s ‘crazy’.

If you’d like to take  a big step down from the Sex Bot but would like to explore sexual stimulation from an inanimate object,  Masturbation Sleeves are the way to go.

I highly recommend the Fleshlight:,  its the highest rated sleeve for a reason: material, snugness, and feel.

This sleeve provides a heightened level of sexual stimulation while masturbating or having your partner do the work.  The fleshlight is an adjunct to hand stimulation and eliminates the anthropomorphic aspect of a full doll.

The feel of a doll, just in your hand. Plus its much easier to keep private vs. hiding your doll in the closet when company visits.

The above example of Davecat shows the significant pitfalls of sex dolls.

He is replacing real human relationships with an inanimate object.  This behavior is most likely to avoid rejection/social anxiety, improving his interpersonal skills, emotional pain,  and prevent loneliness.

His doll/human relationship has easily turned into pathological behavior.

It is worth the pain, possible loneliness, difficult path of self growth, and rejection to experience the joy in loving, mutual relationships.

His doll may be his life long guarantee.

Yet love and relationships IS LIFE.

So buy a doll, or get a sleeve and KEEP the real relationships going.

Redheaded Sexy

I have received a multitude of hits on this site  from viewers wanting to see a sexy redhead.

What is it about redheads that you either love or loathe?

Could it be the rarity of true redheads, as we are only 1 to 2% of the human population.

A real rarity I’d say.

Now in Northern European countries the percentage moves up to a whopping 6%.

One may have expected Ireland to provide the most redheads in Europe but it is actually Scotland in which 13% of the population is red and another40% carry the recessive gene.

Yet in pure numbers of reds among a large population, it is the United States that wins out with approximately 6 to 8 million.

Well I was feeling kind of special, being a redhead myself, until that statistic showed up.

Six to Eight Million! 

With a total population in 2010 of 308 Million, that makes us not one in a million but a mere “two percenter”.

The term redhead has been around since the 1500’s and appears to include other “red assets” such as fair skin, light eyes (either blue or green) and occasionally freckles .

In viewing many pictures of redheads, its obvious that a large portion are dyed vs. being a natural red.

In this post I’ve only included pictures of sexy women who appear to be real red’s….the real 1 to 2 “percenters”

There seems to be a variety of website targeting this rare niche.

If your interested in finding a red head to date, check out these site:

Redheaded porn:

or you could select redhead as a category, which is offered on a variety of porn sites.

Red heads are notorious for our rumored tempers and sexually voraciousness.  Allegedly having three times as powerful sex drive as normal women.

Even in medieval times this perception was noted, describing redheads as, the mark of  beastly sexual desire and moral degeneration.

How true are the rumors?

It may or may not be the truth.

You decide based on the red head in your life.

What I do know, is that I’m biased.

With two redheaded parents, I was destined….to be….red.

That being said, I think we’re pretty rare, interesting, sexy, and with some moxy to boot.

Love them or loathe them, redheads are here to stay.

Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater

Vickie Larson’s recent article in the Huffington Post titled, “Why Men Need to Cheatcaused a flurry of attention.

She interviewed Eric Anderson, an American sociologist at England’s University of Winchester and author of the provocative new book, The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating.

Mr. Anderson calls monogamy a, “socially compelled sexual incarceration”  within a society who has a  stronghold on our beliefs.   Those beliefs, he labels as ‘monogamism’,  brings with it ostracism and judgment to anyone who questions or strays from its boundaries.

His main point in the interview is that men have a strong urge or NEED for quick, frivolous, unattached sex, while thriving on and wanting the emotional monogamy and continued love of their wife.

Quick sex here, stable marriage there.

Some may call this ‘Cake Eating’.

Honestly, who of us wouldn’t like to have our cake and eat it too?

Anderson’s idea is  that one  (in particular men) can engage in sex outside of  marriage without emotional entanglements and still have strong love, interest, and desire for a long term marriage with their spouse.

Many couples I have worked with struggle with the concept that one partner ‘stepped out’ and can STILL claim to love them.

How is this love?

Well its not about the lack of love of the spouse, it can be more about meeting our own selfish needs.  Its more like a lack of respect for the monogamous commitment they agreed upon with their partner.

Getting a thrill here, attention, excitement and alot of pleasure ‘down there’.

I believe that monogamy is not a natural human inclination.

Bonding, community, team work….yes-a natural inclination, it provides safety, security and promotes the continuation of the human race.  Yet monogamy albeit providing financial security, stability in raising a family, emotional security and more, is a choice.

Those that recognize this and discuss their interest in sharing themselves sexually with other people, often receive a backlash from not only their spouse but from society.


How dare you?

Well its honest, raw, real.

Often the ‘injured’ partner will state they would ‘never do that’, which to me  means, monogamous choices are easier for them.  It is not something they battle or at least commonly battle.  They are able to prioritize their respect for their  monogamous agreement rather than seek sexual gratification elsewhere.

Limited research is available that looks at the success of open marriages, where a strong commitment and love remains in the long term relationship while agreeing upon sexual escapades elsewhere.

Dan Savage has the term ‘monogamish’, to describe his long term relationship.

Savage states, “Why do most people assume that all nonmonogamous relationships are destined to fail? Because we only hear about the ones that do. If a three-way or an affair was a factor in a divorce or breakup, we hear all about it. But we rarely hear from happy couples who aren’t monogamous, because they don’t want to be perceived as dangerous sex maniacs who are destined to divorce. ”

Dossie Easton, is a psychotherapist, specializing in polyamory and penned the book, The Ethical Slut.

The Ethical Slut discusses how to live an active life with multiple concurrent sexual relationships in a fair and honest way. Discussion topics include how to deal with the practical difficulties and opportunities in finding and keeping partners, maintaining relationships with others, and strategies for personal growth.

It contains chapters discussing how consensual nonmonogamy is handled in different subcultures such as the gay and lesbian communities, information on handling scheduling, jealousy, communication, conflict in relationships, and etiquette for group sexual encounters.”

What we can agree upon is that affairs occur with somewhat regularity in our society.

Mr. Anderson notes men’s NEED for sex, the constraints of monogamy, and limits to disclosing our natural state.

I postulate that both men and women choose monogamy.  This choice can be a difficult one.

It is also NOT the only choice.

One can love a partner and eye another, have a sexual romp, and return to their commitment at home.

Most of us would enjoy the occasion of eating our cake.

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater??

Divorce, Schivorce….Give Me a Break

One of the latest Hollywood couples to call it quits is Katy Perry and Russell Brand.

What may have led to the demise of their marriage after only 14 months?

The tabloids report possible marital concerns with Brand’s flirty behavior at his recovery meetings (such a great place to pick someone up!), his kinky sex life (allegedly turned on by sex with men in wheelchairs), his emotional unavailability, and her vigorous touring/traveling schedule.

Sometimes, I ask, why are we even surprised or care for that matter?

Yet, frustration abounds when it appears the lack of effort and seriousness people place on their marriage.

Marriage can be a bear, or a bitch for that matter at times, but its worth the work.

We cannot know the truth about the Perry/Brand marriage or the real reasons behind their split.  We can, however, look at a more global marital experience and say – if abuse, harm, or danger did not occur in the marriage, doesn’t it deserve more time, effort, and behavior change from both parties to see the potentials in self growth and the possibility of improved couple cohesion.

A spouse will not ‘complete you’ or be a saving grace nor create your happiness.

They can however, push us to grow, explore who we are, support us in our passions and in our difficult times, enhance our own happiness, add more laughter to our life, light a fire under our behinds when we need it and add some heat in the bedroom.

The epitome of marital collapse at warp speed is the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries total of 72 days of marriage. 

Is that even enough time to engage in couples counseling, seek spiritual guidance, allow time to actually work through their problems?   I think not.

Time, effort, and support are key to working through conflict.

Patience, respect, and flexibility help us get there.

We live in a culture of immediate gratification; the view that our spouse is to be our perfect soul mate, to meet all of our needs, and to be a continual source of happiness.

These are obviously unrealistic expectation of any partner.

Spouse’s aren’t perfect, and neither are we.

So give me a break.

Quickie marriages, quickie divorces.

Marriage can be a bear….Deal with it!

A great article on thinking twice about divorce is from Dr. Margaret Paul at InnerBonding:

%d bloggers like this: