Vulnerability…..It Sucks and We Need It — Dr Brene Brown Explains Why

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I watched the TED talk by Brene Brown and was moved to share.

Dr Brene Brown studies vulnerability, courage, shame and authenticity.

As she explored shame and empathy, she came to understand what thriving whole- hearted people had that increased their sense of worth and joy …it was their ability to be vulnerable.

In therapy, we are taught to lean into the discomfort yet in our leanings we often make choices to avoid, numb, escape, because discomfort isn’t something that most of us are actually comfortable handling.

I remember years ago having a big argument with my spouse and I was working hard to be in the moment: feel the pain, allow myself to be vulnerable but I ended up researching ashrams I could visit.
Ahhhhh, again – escape.
I did not take a trip yet just researching it and fantasizing about it was another way to lean against discomfort, push it away, meditate it away, breathe it away, fly away and more.

Most of us numb ourselves, as Dr Brown says with, Beer and Banana Nut Muffins….I’d add a few more to my ‘successful’ numbing list, such as smoking.
All of which consist of our own ‘smoke screen’ for our real, raw and at times unbearable feelings.

Being vulnerable facilitates connection and isn’t connection why we exist?

Our internalized messages of shame and fear, reinforce the distortion that we are not worthy, that something deep inside ourselves is inherently flawed, that if someone saw our ‘true’ self we would be rejected, dis-connected, and pushed aside.

Despite this message and the guards and the defenses we put up to protect ourselves, just the opposite is true. By being vulnerable and our true self, we allow joy, exploration, gratitude, and the possibility of bliss.

Yes, we leave ourselves open to pain, rejection and heartbreak. If we guard ourselves from this, we essentially block the potentials for joy.

In order for connection to happen we need to be vulnerable, allow it, lean into it…..because we ARE worthy.

About Anton Therapy

As a psychotherapist specializing in sexual concerns, I believe that communication and compromise, with a playful and open attitude are key components to a healthy intimate life. I infuse compassion, enthusiasm and a collaborative approach in treatment that puts clients at ease in discussing such personal topics. I hope this blog helps to open your mind, promote healthy sex, and encourages you to have a desire for intimacy and life! View all posts by Anton Therapy

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