Category Archives: Private Parts

Get It On Ape Style: What we can learn from Bonobo’s

This weekend I had to privilege to read, Sex at Dawn, a book by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha.  I find this book so inspiring that I encourage you to read.

“Ryan and Jethá show how our promiscuous past haunts our current struggles regarding monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. Some of the themes they explore include:

• why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many;
• why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens;
• why many middle-aged men risk everything for an affair;
• why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and
• what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality”

Scientists often look at our closest relative, the Chimpanzee, to explore and to gain a better understanding of  our own behavior, yet Ryan and Jetha highlight the mammal closest to our own human behavior is the pygmy chimp version:  the Bonobo.

Bonobo’s screw for everything.

They have sex as a way to meet, greet, resolve conflict, enjoy food, and of course to mate.

According to Primatologist, Frans de Waal states bonobos are capable of altruism, compassion, empathy, kindness, patience, and sensitivity.[3]

 

Christopher Ryan reported to Psychology Today, seven things we can learn from getting it on ape style, in the article 7 Things Bonobos Can Teach us About Love and Sex.

Below is a highlight of his tips.

“1. More sex = less conflict. As the great primatologist, Frans de Waal put it, “Chimps use violence to get sex, while bonobos use sex to avoid violence.”… As James Prescott demonstrated… the connection between less restrictive sexuality and less conflict generally holds true for human societies as well. 

2. Feminism can be very sexy. When females are in charge, everyone lives better (including the males)…

3. Sisterhood is powerful. Although female bonobos are about 20% smaller than males—roughly the same ratio as in chimps and humans—they dominate males by sticking together. If a male gets out of line and harasses a female, ALL the other females will gang up on him. This sisterly solidarity, combined with lots of sex, tends to keep the males behaving politely.

4. Jealousy isn’t romantic. While bonobos no-doubt experience unique feelings for one another, they don’t seem to worry much about controlling one another’s sex lives.

5. There’s promise in promiscuity. All the casual sex among bonobos is arguably a big part of what has made them among the smartest of all primates. Until human beings came along and messed things up for them, bonobos enjoyed very high quality of life, low stress, and plenty of social interaction in hammocks. In fact, of the many species of social primates living in multi-male social groups, not a single species is sexually monogamous. Each of the arguably smartest mammals–humans, chimps, bonobos, and dolphins—is promiscuous.

6. Good sex needn’t always include an orgasm, and “casual” doesn’t necessarily mean “empty” or “cheap.” Most bonobo sexual interactions are nothing more than a quick feel, rub, or intromission—a “bonobo handshake,” if you will… But bonobos are very romantic: like humans, they kiss, hold hands (and feet!), and gaze into one another’s eyes while having sex.

7. Sex and food go together better than love and marriage—at least for bonobos. Nothing gets a bonobo orgy started faster than a feast. Give a group of bonobos a bunch of food and they’ll all have some quick sex before very politely sharing the food…”

 

 

 

In conclusion, our advance species hasn’t necessarily advanced our social interactions nor reinforced our need for relaxation and play.

Power, control, jealously and more, cloud our ability to truly living a full life.

Decide whether or not, you would like to have more of a Bonobo manner of living.

You can get it on ape style.


Get your Vibe On

Despite our poor economy and sluggish sales, vibrators have been in high demand.  In the U.K.,  women’s  vibrators have nearly trumped the sales of smart phones.

In this hilarious Saturday Night Live sketch, they address Mothers Day gifts, the Kindle,  and the ever popular Fifty Shades of Grey erotic novel. In one section you see, Kristen Wiigs character, masturbating with the Hitachi Magic Wand.

SNL Fifty Shades of Grey Skit

The Hitachi Wand vibrator seems to be one of Betty Dodsons favorite.  Betty is an expert in human sexuality and the Queen of Masturbation, having written, Sex for One: The Joy of Self Loving, Liberating Masturbation, and Orgasms for two: The Joy of Partner sex.

Her fame not only comes from her books and erotic art, but from her over 30 years of conducting workshops for groups of women to explore their sexuality and masturbate together. Watch Betty’s video on The Masturbation Month of May.

 

 

 

 

 

Betty Dodson Masturbation Month of May

You can purchase the Magic Wand on Amazon for $54.95. 

A recent survey reported 50% of Americans are using vibrators and 70% of men noted their comfort with using the device.  Scientific American reported the sex toy industry is a $500 million dollar per year industry , while Durex noted the U.S is 2nd in the world for vibrator purchases.

GoodVibrations.com lists their 45 top selling vibrators which includes the Hitachi Wand, the Rabbit, the Bullet, and the We-Vibe.

They have increased sales by 60% since the 1990’s.

Adameve.com, lists 8 different types of vibrators: Rabbit, Clitoral, G Spot, Realistic, Bullet/Egg, Anal, Traditional and Vibrator Kits.

Now many traditional Condom companys such as Durex, Trojan, and Lifestyles are offering an over the counter vibrator located in your local market with the condoms and lubrication.

The Durex website states,

“And you thought Durex just made condoms?

They’re tastefully designed and disarmingly discreet. The range is designed with a modern woman in mind, featuring a variety of styles to suit different tastes. Experiment a little and you’re sure to find the one that’s right for you and your partner.  Make the world’s No.1 condom brand the world’s best vibrator brand too!”

I highly recommend the Durex line of vibration products.  They’re affordable, easy to purchase and easy to use.  The Durex Play is a small cock ring with a vibration device so that during love play and intercourse, it provides clitoral stimulation.  The convenient size does not seem to interfere with intercourse as it is compact and site focused.

Lelo,  is the world’s leading designer brand for intimate lifestyle products. The company has ‘transformed the look, feel and function of how personal massagers are perceived, bringing a new level of luxury to products of this kind.’

The highlights of the Lelo Tiani Sense Motion Pleasure Object are its revolutionary design that is controlled by tilting your palm or flicking your wrist.  Highlights include:
“• Operate the vibrator in SensoMotion or Standard modes
• Tilt or wave the controller around to power the vibrator in SensoMotion Mode
• Standard turns the controller into your typical wireless remote
• Pick from 6 vibration patterns & 16 speeds in Standard
• Wireless signal ranges up to 39 feet
• Controller buzzes in sync with vibrator so you can feel the mode for yourself
• Vibrator is designed to be worn during sex for extra stimulation
• Smaller arm massages her G spot, while the larger tickles her clit”

Support the economy.

Go buy a Vibrator.

Enjoy!


Jack-off Bandit

I discovered this absurd and hilarious video on YouTube.com, which has inspired me to blog about masturbation.

jack off bandit

Is it because he looks as high as a kite, or that he addresses the commonality of masturbation, or maybe just his blantant link to jacking of to your Facebook pictures that makes this  video so obtuse & addictively funny?

He  exhibits his rhythm & use of lubrication to masturbate. This is a fairly common way to jack off: using one to two hands on the shaft of your penis in an up & down motion with the aid of lube.  Yet, what if you want to take your masturbation to the next level?

MadeMan, provides 10 tips to your self loving:

By: Leigha Isbell

Break Studios Contributing Writer

  1. I’m Hot and I’m ColdMasturbate as you normally would. Have a cup or bowl with ice next to you. When you are about to ejaculate, grab the ice in your free hand. The sensation of the cold in one hand and the hot in the other hand will give you extra sensation.

  2. PB & V (Plastic Bag & Vaseline) Fill a plastic bag with Vaseline and place your erect penis into the bag. Once you’re inside, place the bag with your penis still inside between the mattress and box spring of your bed. Pump in and out until you reach orgasm. This method not only feels really great but there is no mess, except to wash off your penis.
  3. Stop and GoFor this method you will use your preferred way of masturbating. When you feel you are very close to orgasm, STOP! Put your hands behind your head so that you are less tempted to reach down and continue. Do this about three more times or until you simply cannot stand it any longer. Finally let yourself climax. When you finish this time, it will have been worth the wait.
  4. Hot and WetGet a towel, soak it with hot water and ring it out so that it is not dripping wet. But you want the wet heat, it adds to the feeling. Put a condom on. Wrap the towel (not too tightly) around your penis. Pump in and out of it. The wet heat feels fabulous!
  5. Keep UpTurn on your favorite porno and imagine you are the one doing all the different things to the girl in the movie. While hearing the noises on the movie and using your imagination, you should have no trouble at all coming to a quick orgasm.
  6. Pillow On TopLay on your back and pull a pillow on top of you. Have your erect penis flat on your abdomen. Pull the pillow over your penis. Rub it back and fourth; you can also thrust your hips for added feeling. This will give the sensation of a woman on top.
  7. Water Wings Get a pair (they only come in pairs) of children’s water wings. Blow them up as much as possible. Coat the inside with baby oil. Insert your penis and pump away. The walls will be enclosed on your penis and feel fantastic.
  8. Two HanderWhile masturbating, the scrotum gets overlooked. In this method they become a part of the orgasm. While masturbating in any way you like, take your other hand and lightly and slowly massage your scrotum. This will add to your orgasm with little added effort.
  9. Banana Hammock Buy a banana make a small slit in the side and tip. Scoop out most of the banana, but leave some of it as it makes a great lube. Slide it over your erect penis, lay on your stomach and slide up and down. The smoothness of being able to slide in and out will have you wanting to get more bananas soon.
  10. Tampon Insert The last technique is a bit more involved than most of the others, but if you’re into this kind of thing, it will pay off. Get a tampon, open it and insert it into your anus (you may want to add some lube first). With the tampon inserted into your anus, kneel on your bed or floor and pump your penis in your hand for an extremely powerful orgasm.

Corey Silverberg suggests in his article, Advanced Masturbation Techniques, to try these:

  • Use Sex Toys

  • Watch Yourself
  • Talk Dirty to Yourself
  • Explore Taboo Fantasies
  • Trying New Positions

Whether you, like the Jack Off Bandit, enjoy the up and down motion of your hand with lubrication while masturbating or are open to trying the more adventurous tips above, take advantage of the pleasure you can provide to yourself.


“Oh Doll Face, I Love You”, The Strange Fetish of Adult Sex Dolls

While perusing the “Buzz Feed” website , a video clip came up which highlighted unusual addictions and fetishes.

Click here for the article and video clips:

10 Strange Fetishes and Addictions, (balloons, bubble gum, eating chalk, etc)

The TLC  channel has a series titled, “My Strange Addiction”, which highlights various oddities such as the adult doll fetish.

The top of the line adult erotic doll is created by “Realdoll”.

http://www.realdoll.com/cgi-bin/snav.rd

One can choose body shape, height, weight, shoe size, breast size, hair/eye/nail polish, skin color, hair style and even your pubic hair preference with a list of colors from which to select. So the drapes don’t necessarily have to match the carpet.

Your ‘perfect’ woman.

With penetrable orifices in the mouth, vaginal and anal area.

A male version is also available or you can just purchase the ‘bottoms up’ model which is merely a part section of the behind and upper thigh.

Go ahead, order one.  It comes with a cost: the base line model sells for $5999.00.

I guess that is cheaper than 10 years worth of dates. Real woman can be pretty expensive, of which I reminded of by my own husband.

While watching an episode clip, I was taken by a man living in the Detroit area who lives with and has a long term relationship with…..his adult doll.

This gentleman, named Davecat, appears to interact with his ‘doll’ in a highly anthropomorphic manner.

Sleeping and eating together, dressing and grooming her, even posing for couples photos together as well as giving her an individualized personality full of interests, wants and desires.

I bet her libido is a PERFECT match for his.

Most of us are familiar with the blow up sex doll at a bachelor party, yet where did this all come from?

The dame de voyage (French) or dama de viaje (Spanish) was a direct predecessor to today’s sex dolls that originated in the seventeenth century. Dames de voyage were makeshift fornicatory dolls made of sewn cloth or old clothes, used by French and Spanish sailors while isolated at sea during long voyages.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_doll

“In August 1955, Max Weissbrodt of the Hausser/Elastolin company created one of the first sex dolls to be marketed as such: an 11.5-inch plastic figurine named Bild Lilli, modeled after the hypersexualized appearance of a cartoon character named Lilli”

The readily available blow up doll can be purchased for around $100 yet the imitation is poor, the orifices are more of a beach ball with a hole vs the top of the line silicon product of today.

If the price is to high, or you’re just not sure if the doll is for you, no worry, you can fly to Toyko to rent a doll and a room at Doru no Mori.  Take it on a test drive.

The future of sex dolls appears to be: CybOrgasMatrix or True Companion dolls, as they are using “an innovative material—a very elastic gel with a strong shape memory, which they have shown in side-by-side tests is superior to silicone in elasticity, shape memory, and durability. Additional options: heat, a pelvic thruster motor, audio dialogue, personality types: shy, horny,experienced, young…..a real SEX BOT.

http://www.truecompanion.com/home.html

http://cyborgasmatrix.com/DollsTorso_Gallery.htm.

To purchase a Cyborgasmatrix female torso appears to be more affordable, as  this one is just under $1000.00. This torso has less aesthetics than the real doll, yet looking at the features of heat, audio and pelvic thrusts, may make her more ‘attractive’ to a buyer.

How freaky is this sex doll fetish?

If used on occasion it can provide as an instance source of sexual gratification without any effort, energy or talking afterwards.

The key word is ‘occasionally’.

And yes it is ‘freaky,’ but its only in excess that it’s ‘crazy’.

If you’d like to take  a big step down from the Sex Bot but would like to explore sexual stimulation from an inanimate object,  Masturbation Sleeves are the way to go.

I highly recommend the Fleshlight: http://www.fleshlight.com,  its the highest rated sleeve for a reason: material, snugness, and feel.

This sleeve provides a heightened level of sexual stimulation while masturbating or having your partner do the work.  The fleshlight is an adjunct to hand stimulation and eliminates the anthropomorphic aspect of a full doll.

The feel of a doll, just in your hand. Plus its much easier to keep private vs. hiding your doll in the closet when company visits.

The above example of Davecat shows the significant pitfalls of sex dolls.

He is replacing real human relationships with an inanimate object.  This behavior is most likely to avoid rejection/social anxiety, improving his interpersonal skills, emotional pain,  and prevent loneliness.

His doll/human relationship has easily turned into pathological behavior.

It is worth the pain, possible loneliness, difficult path of self growth, and rejection to experience the joy in loving, mutual relationships.

His doll may be his life long guarantee.

Yet love and relationships IS LIFE.

So buy a doll, or get a sleeve and KEEP the real relationships going.


The Big “O”, The Female Orgasm

Providing answers to questions related to female orgasm:

Why does it take women so long before they have an orgasm?

Why do women fake it?

Did I have an orgasm?

Why aren’t my orgasms more intense?


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