Category Archives: Sexy

What is the Best Sex You’ve Ever Had? Was it Hall of Fame Worthy?

What is the Best Sex You’ve Ever Had? Was it Hall of Fame Worthy?

My newest Footballandsex.com blog ponders the characteristics that categorizes the best sex we’ve ever experienced.  It was influenced by the recent enshrinement of seven NFL athletes/coaches in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

A few share their necessary adjectives and brief highlighted sexual experiences.  Add yours, I’m interested.


Heart of Sex

heartThe American Heart Association and the European Society of Cardiology released a statement Monday urging physicians to discuss sex with their cardiac patients post heart attack, transplant, stroke, implanted heart device or other heart conditions, as well as, counseling their partners.

According to the AHA, Counseling should address topics such as when to resume sex, specific methods and recommended positions, and the role of intimacy without sex.

The Washington Post reported that, It’s billed as the first scientific statement with detailed guidance on resuming sex.

In Eduardo Chapunoff’s book, Heart Disease & Sex, he writes that 50% of post heart attack and implantable defibrillator patients don’t return to having sexual intercourse.  This news is sad and discouraging for a large portion of our population, which includes myself and my husband.

When people think of heart disease, they often associate it with the 70 year old and older crowd.  Even though the statistics are higher as we age, this stereotype excludes a significant portion of those with heart disease under the age of 50.  Additionally, it limits the importance of  sexual activity as we tend to de-sexualize those in their senior years.  The recommendation by the AHA helps to end the view that elderly sex is not important and adds to the value of remaining sexually active with cardiac and other health conditions.

At the age of  25, I was diagnosed with  Cardiomyopathy (a weak heart muscle often leading to transplantation, life longtwo hearts medication and even death)  I was not interested in ending my sex life.  I wanted sex until my life ended and thought humorously, what a way to go!   I wanted intimacy to continue to be a significant part of my relationship and sex expression.

At that time, Doctors did not inquire about my sex life or provide suggestions; it was I, who hounded them about expectations, effects and my abilities.  My husband asked the potential risk to him if during sexual activity, my pacemaker/defibrillator provided a treatment, aka shocked me.  He was informed that he’d feel a bit of a jolt, but for it not to dissuade him.  I reminded him that he always knew I was ‘electrifying’.

icd

 

The intensity of my cardiac symptoms and medication made sexual interest, arousal, and response challenging for a handful of years.  Now after 16 years post diagnosis, two pacemakers, and stabilization on my medications, my sexual expression and interest are pretty high.  I am lucky to have no restrictions on my sex life.  Oh the endless possibilities.

But wait, my 38 year old husband decided last month to have a near fatal heart attack, have surgery, and be placed in a hypo-thermic coma. Beyond a miracle is his survival.  Now it is he, who is dealing with the multiple effects of heart disease, medications and life adjustments.  Luckily, he’s married to a sex therapist, cardiac patient, and supportive partner ( I believe he’d agree)

When my husband asked the Dr about his sex life, specifically when he can have sex again, the Dr laughed noting it was the first question men ask post heart attack. Now providers can be on the same track as their patients.  We want to effectively treat our condition and get back to our lives….our sex lives in particular.

I am ready to return to the endless opportunities in the bedroom with my partner; it will take a bit of time and hopefully a lot of practice.

Listed are the AHA guidelines to resuming sex with heart disease and more:

General precautions listed in the statement include:  (I have added my two cents in red below)

—Before resuming sex, make sure you can engage in moderate physical activity, such as walking briskly up two flights of stairs, without chest pain, breathlessness or other symptoms.

Make sure you are strong enough to walk slowly.  When engaging in sex, remain a passive partner until your stamina increases.  Enjoy lying flat during intercourse and receiving oral sex.  If providing stimulation to your partner, lie relaxed on your side with a pillow supporting your head and back.

—If moderate activity is too strenuous, avoid intercourse but not intimacy: hugging and kissing may be OK.

Only hugging and kissing??? Thats enjoyable but why exclude being masturbated by your partner or receiving oral sex. Occasionally deep kissing can lead to shortness of breath, take breaks that allow you to breathe and gently kiss other parts of the body.

—Have sex in a comfortable, familiar place and avoid things that could add stress to the experience, including extramarital affairs.

Interesting, have a heart attack, end your affair?? You can read my articles on non-monogamy

—Tell your doctor about any symptoms during sex, including chest pain, dizziness or insomnia afterward.

—Some positions may not be safe. Heart bypass surgery patients should avoid being on top in the missionary position, and Steinke said having sex in a more “upright position” may be easier for some heart failure patients, whose symptoms may include shortness of breath.

spooningRecommended positions for male patients : partner on top in an arm less chair, missionary-  partner on top, lying side by side in a spoon position, standing on the side of the bed with  partner on their back near edge of bed or on their stomach with their rear lifted  – lean your weight on the bed to reduce feeling dizzy or use your hands for support.

 

Female patients: side by side spooning position, missionary with partner on top and weight on their knees to avoid pressure to your chest/abdomen, rear rear entryentry with pillows under chest and stomach for support, lying on your back with bottom to edge of bed with partner standing.  If your head is too low, you may feel dizzy, support your head or elevate it slightly.

Cheers to the American Heart Association.

Myself as well as many others are interested in the endless possibilities to sex even with a cardiac condition.

 

 

 

 


Get It On Ape Style: What we can learn from Bonobo’s

This weekend I had to privilege to read, Sex at Dawn, a book by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha.  I find this book so inspiring that I encourage you to read.

“Ryan and Jethá show how our promiscuous past haunts our current struggles regarding monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. Some of the themes they explore include:

• why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many;
• why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens;
• why many middle-aged men risk everything for an affair;
• why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and
• what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality”

Scientists often look at our closest relative, the Chimpanzee, to explore and to gain a better understanding of  our own behavior, yet Ryan and Jetha highlight the mammal closest to our own human behavior is the pygmy chimp version:  the Bonobo.

Bonobo’s screw for everything.

They have sex as a way to meet, greet, resolve conflict, enjoy food, and of course to mate.

According to Primatologist, Frans de Waal states bonobos are capable of altruism, compassion, empathy, kindness, patience, and sensitivity.[3]

 

Christopher Ryan reported to Psychology Today, seven things we can learn from getting it on ape style, in the article 7 Things Bonobos Can Teach us About Love and Sex.

Below is a highlight of his tips.

“1. More sex = less conflict. As the great primatologist, Frans de Waal put it, “Chimps use violence to get sex, while bonobos use sex to avoid violence.”… As James Prescott demonstrated… the connection between less restrictive sexuality and less conflict generally holds true for human societies as well. 

2. Feminism can be very sexy. When females are in charge, everyone lives better (including the males)…

3. Sisterhood is powerful. Although female bonobos are about 20% smaller than males—roughly the same ratio as in chimps and humans—they dominate males by sticking together. If a male gets out of line and harasses a female, ALL the other females will gang up on him. This sisterly solidarity, combined with lots of sex, tends to keep the males behaving politely.

4. Jealousy isn’t romantic. While bonobos no-doubt experience unique feelings for one another, they don’t seem to worry much about controlling one another’s sex lives.

5. There’s promise in promiscuity. All the casual sex among bonobos is arguably a big part of what has made them among the smartest of all primates. Until human beings came along and messed things up for them, bonobos enjoyed very high quality of life, low stress, and plenty of social interaction in hammocks. In fact, of the many species of social primates living in multi-male social groups, not a single species is sexually monogamous. Each of the arguably smartest mammals–humans, chimps, bonobos, and dolphins—is promiscuous.

6. Good sex needn’t always include an orgasm, and “casual” doesn’t necessarily mean “empty” or “cheap.” Most bonobo sexual interactions are nothing more than a quick feel, rub, or intromission—a “bonobo handshake,” if you will… But bonobos are very romantic: like humans, they kiss, hold hands (and feet!), and gaze into one another’s eyes while having sex.

7. Sex and food go together better than love and marriage—at least for bonobos. Nothing gets a bonobo orgy started faster than a feast. Give a group of bonobos a bunch of food and they’ll all have some quick sex before very politely sharing the food…”

 

 

 

In conclusion, our advance species hasn’t necessarily advanced our social interactions nor reinforced our need for relaxation and play.

Power, control, jealously and more, cloud our ability to truly living a full life.

Decide whether or not, you would like to have more of a Bonobo manner of living.

You can get it on ape style.


Get your Vibe On

Despite our poor economy and sluggish sales, vibrators have been in high demand.  In the U.K.,  women’s  vibrators have nearly trumped the sales of smart phones.

In this hilarious Saturday Night Live sketch, they address Mothers Day gifts, the Kindle,  and the ever popular Fifty Shades of Grey erotic novel. In one section you see, Kristen Wiigs character, masturbating with the Hitachi Magic Wand.

SNL Fifty Shades of Grey Skit

The Hitachi Wand vibrator seems to be one of Betty Dodsons favorite.  Betty is an expert in human sexuality and the Queen of Masturbation, having written, Sex for One: The Joy of Self Loving, Liberating Masturbation, and Orgasms for two: The Joy of Partner sex.

Her fame not only comes from her books and erotic art, but from her over 30 years of conducting workshops for groups of women to explore their sexuality and masturbate together. Watch Betty’s video on The Masturbation Month of May.

 

 

 

 

 

Betty Dodson Masturbation Month of May

You can purchase the Magic Wand on Amazon for $54.95. 

A recent survey reported 50% of Americans are using vibrators and 70% of men noted their comfort with using the device.  Scientific American reported the sex toy industry is a $500 million dollar per year industry , while Durex noted the U.S is 2nd in the world for vibrator purchases.

GoodVibrations.com lists their 45 top selling vibrators which includes the Hitachi Wand, the Rabbit, the Bullet, and the We-Vibe.

They have increased sales by 60% since the 1990’s.

Adameve.com, lists 8 different types of vibrators: Rabbit, Clitoral, G Spot, Realistic, Bullet/Egg, Anal, Traditional and Vibrator Kits.

Now many traditional Condom companys such as Durex, Trojan, and Lifestyles are offering an over the counter vibrator located in your local market with the condoms and lubrication.

The Durex website states,

“And you thought Durex just made condoms?

They’re tastefully designed and disarmingly discreet. The range is designed with a modern woman in mind, featuring a variety of styles to suit different tastes. Experiment a little and you’re sure to find the one that’s right for you and your partner.  Make the world’s No.1 condom brand the world’s best vibrator brand too!”

I highly recommend the Durex line of vibration products.  They’re affordable, easy to purchase and easy to use.  The Durex Play is a small cock ring with a vibration device so that during love play and intercourse, it provides clitoral stimulation.  The convenient size does not seem to interfere with intercourse as it is compact and site focused.

Lelo,  is the world’s leading designer brand for intimate lifestyle products. The company has ‘transformed the look, feel and function of how personal massagers are perceived, bringing a new level of luxury to products of this kind.’

The highlights of the Lelo Tiani Sense Motion Pleasure Object are its revolutionary design that is controlled by tilting your palm or flicking your wrist.  Highlights include:
“• Operate the vibrator in SensoMotion or Standard modes
• Tilt or wave the controller around to power the vibrator in SensoMotion Mode
• Standard turns the controller into your typical wireless remote
• Pick from 6 vibration patterns & 16 speeds in Standard
• Wireless signal ranges up to 39 feet
• Controller buzzes in sync with vibrator so you can feel the mode for yourself
• Vibrator is designed to be worn during sex for extra stimulation
• Smaller arm massages her G spot, while the larger tickles her clit”

Support the economy.

Go buy a Vibrator.

Enjoy!


Jack-off Bandit

I discovered this absurd and hilarious video on YouTube.com, which has inspired me to blog about masturbation.

jack off bandit

Is it because he looks as high as a kite, or that he addresses the commonality of masturbation, or maybe just his blantant link to jacking of to your Facebook pictures that makes this  video so obtuse & addictively funny?

He  exhibits his rhythm & use of lubrication to masturbate. This is a fairly common way to jack off: using one to two hands on the shaft of your penis in an up & down motion with the aid of lube.  Yet, what if you want to take your masturbation to the next level?

MadeMan, provides 10 tips to your self loving:

By: Leigha Isbell

Break Studios Contributing Writer

  1. I’m Hot and I’m ColdMasturbate as you normally would. Have a cup or bowl with ice next to you. When you are about to ejaculate, grab the ice in your free hand. The sensation of the cold in one hand and the hot in the other hand will give you extra sensation.

  2. PB & V (Plastic Bag & Vaseline) Fill a plastic bag with Vaseline and place your erect penis into the bag. Once you’re inside, place the bag with your penis still inside between the mattress and box spring of your bed. Pump in and out until you reach orgasm. This method not only feels really great but there is no mess, except to wash off your penis.
  3. Stop and GoFor this method you will use your preferred way of masturbating. When you feel you are very close to orgasm, STOP! Put your hands behind your head so that you are less tempted to reach down and continue. Do this about three more times or until you simply cannot stand it any longer. Finally let yourself climax. When you finish this time, it will have been worth the wait.
  4. Hot and WetGet a towel, soak it with hot water and ring it out so that it is not dripping wet. But you want the wet heat, it adds to the feeling. Put a condom on. Wrap the towel (not too tightly) around your penis. Pump in and out of it. The wet heat feels fabulous!
  5. Keep UpTurn on your favorite porno and imagine you are the one doing all the different things to the girl in the movie. While hearing the noises on the movie and using your imagination, you should have no trouble at all coming to a quick orgasm.
  6. Pillow On TopLay on your back and pull a pillow on top of you. Have your erect penis flat on your abdomen. Pull the pillow over your penis. Rub it back and fourth; you can also thrust your hips for added feeling. This will give the sensation of a woman on top.
  7. Water Wings Get a pair (they only come in pairs) of children’s water wings. Blow them up as much as possible. Coat the inside with baby oil. Insert your penis and pump away. The walls will be enclosed on your penis and feel fantastic.
  8. Two HanderWhile masturbating, the scrotum gets overlooked. In this method they become a part of the orgasm. While masturbating in any way you like, take your other hand and lightly and slowly massage your scrotum. This will add to your orgasm with little added effort.
  9. Banana Hammock Buy a banana make a small slit in the side and tip. Scoop out most of the banana, but leave some of it as it makes a great lube. Slide it over your erect penis, lay on your stomach and slide up and down. The smoothness of being able to slide in and out will have you wanting to get more bananas soon.
  10. Tampon Insert The last technique is a bit more involved than most of the others, but if you’re into this kind of thing, it will pay off. Get a tampon, open it and insert it into your anus (you may want to add some lube first). With the tampon inserted into your anus, kneel on your bed or floor and pump your penis in your hand for an extremely powerful orgasm.

Corey Silverberg suggests in his article, Advanced Masturbation Techniques, to try these:

  • Use Sex Toys

  • Watch Yourself
  • Talk Dirty to Yourself
  • Explore Taboo Fantasies
  • Trying New Positions

Whether you, like the Jack Off Bandit, enjoy the up and down motion of your hand with lubrication while masturbating or are open to trying the more adventurous tips above, take advantage of the pleasure you can provide to yourself.


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