Tag Archives: human sexuality

Sex School

At many universities, the Human Sexuality course is often the most popular.  A student learns the ins and outs of sexual anatomy, STI’s, pregnancy/birth, dysfunctions, and even some historical and cultural aspects of sex.

Yet what about taking it to the next level?

From books to action.

Last year at Northwestern University,  an after class presentation in Human Sexuality, went ‘live’ with a masturbation demonstration.  This didn’t go over so well and now the course has been shelved.

What if you knew you were signing up for a Human Sexuality course that included both the books and the sex.

That is what is happening near Vienna Austria, with the opening of the world’s first “School of Sex”.

Ylva Maria Thompson, the school’s headmistress, announced the opening of the Austrian International School Of Sex (AISOS), the world’s first school of practical sexuality.

The website states, “AISOS is Europe’s first school geared towards the development of sexual skills and techniques. As opposed to most schools dealing with sexuality, AISOS’ core education is not theoretical, but very practical. ..The courses at AISOS cover everything from sexual techniques to the history of sexuality.

At AISOS we want you do develop practical skills that will change not only your life, but also the lives of the people you decide to partner with.

In short, we teach the art of giving and receiving sexual pleasure.”

Check out their website: http://www.aisos.at

The website provides information in both German and English.

A few things came to mind when I found out about this new ‘sex school’:

One –  I lived in Vienna, Austria in 1993, obviously 19 years too early to attend the school- darn!!

I was lucky enough to visit Amsterdam a few times and that’s a sex thrill or ‘schooling’  just roaming the streets.

Two- Why didn’t I keep up to date on my German (as classes are held only in the German language).

Three-  I just accepted an adjunct professor position….maybe I should apply to AISOS.  To which I quickly said to myself, ‘Oh yes, I have a family and a business, and in particular a husband who I’m certain would much rather have me teach a school work class than lead a live sex presentation.’

Nevertheless, this new sex school is cutting edge to promoting sexual pleasure and education.

In the headmistress column, it states Macnab’s first three objectives of sex education are:

1. To make affection, sex, and love a constructive rather than a destructive force in modern society.

2. To develop feelings of self-identity, self-respect, and moral responsibility as an integral part of their personality and character development.

3. To understand and appreciate the sexual side of human nature psycho-sexual development may occur as normally and healthily as possible without feelings of indecency, embarrassment or undue guilt.

Sounds good to me.

Books AND Action.

Hopefully one day soon, I will return to Vienna and visit the school, for research and observation of course.

Would you sign up?                                                                                                                                                                    I would.


Catching Your Man…or the Average Joe at least.

Many tips discuss sexy outfits, flirtatiousness and being a challenge.

I, on the other hand, will add tips (some of them sexist…and yes I remain a feminist) to add to your chances of catching the man of your interest.

1. Set Realistic Expectations:

There is no man in shining armor.  If you want someone to rescue you, it will fail as only you can only rescue yourself.

No man is perfect.  He may be a knight in rusty armor: so look for smarts, sobriety, stability, humor, respect, openness, & playfulness. Pay attention to his history.  You can change no one, rescue no one.

No mate will ‘complete you’. Unlike the line in Jerry McGuire, “You complete Me”, its just a pipe dream.  A man can enhance your life, empower you, inspire you, care about you….yet not complete you.  You are responsible to fulfill yourself, complete yourself.  If you rely on another to meet all those needs, they will unfortunately fail you as no one person can do all that.

Constant Attention and Fawning is a NO GO.  If you want a slew of attention, then get it from multiple sources not just one person.  Yes we want a lot of attention from our date, partner, spouse, yet 100%  won’t happen.  They are not the fan club of one.

Different interest can enhance a relationship. Don’t mold to become a twin of your date. Be yourself. Have your own interest.   Share them, enjoy them on your own, keep that part of you.  Don’t lose yourself.

Your body is great just the way it is.  I hear too often in my practice, ‘well if I would loose a little weight’, ‘maybe if I got bigger boobs’, ‘why would he want to have sex with me with this body’.  If you change up your body, do it for health, do it because you feel good. You can have a ’10’ figure and your partner still may not be interested in you.  Remember beauty is not only on the outside.

Marriage isn’t happily ever after. Marriage is a lot of work.  It is not a destination.  Its is a life journey full of work, compromise, commitment, communication and hopefully lots of copulation. Yet the key word is work!  Stop chasing the ring. Chase your dream.  Enjoy your life with your partner.

2.Confidence and Smarts are Key

When you like who you are, know whats going on, and can have a decent intellectual conversation….you’re game!

No one wants a ding bat, a wimpy-whiney wendy, and a please validate that I don’t look fat in these jeans girl.

Have your own interests, hobbies, and friends.  Be independent.  Strive to learn. Participate in the community.  When you have these things, you open your self up to attraction.  Others will be attracted to you. Widen your circle, date, play.

Get educated, get smart, get confident!

3. Sex

This is another area where confidence and smarts will benefit you.

Don’t behave like your a raw piece of meat begging to be placed on his grill, saying ‘cook me’, ‘eat me’.  You don’t need to jump on the stripper pole, show you’re thong during the bend over, talk about giving the best blow job.  Take care of yourself, confidence exudes sexiness & be assertive NOT aggressive.  Just because he has sex with you doesn’t mean anything other than- you had sex.  Don’t use sex for validation.

Have sex because you’re interested, being safe (birth control), aware of the complications,want to share yourself with this person.

Enjoy your body and the pleasure it brings. Share yourself openly, respectfully, playfully.

Enjoy full body love play.

Feel confident in your sexual skills.  Enjoy giving as much as receiving.  Men like blow jobs; we like to see pleasure on our partners face.

Every man enjoys a confident and smart woman who loves giving blow jobs.

4. Food

We all love food.

Start cooking.

Enjoy food, savor it, cook it, eat it.

We all like a good cook, a great hostess, and eating with a partner who enjoys flavor, texture, complexity, wine pairings and more.  Plus who doesn’t love a nice full belly.

My mother used to say ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’, this has merit even today.

5. Football

You may not be a sports fan, yet if you open up and learn, you and your partner can have a great time together.  Attending sporting events has a fun social atmosphere, cheer, and is a great date.  Football is one of the best sports. Its exciting and  action packed!  Men on the field, tight pants, meaty muscles, sweat dripping down, Foh yeah….need I say more!  If football isn’t your thing, try out other sports, baseball, racing, basketball, and even golf.  Women who like the game, show game!

6. Genuineness and Fun

No need to put on an act, be yourself.

Have fun.

Be open to new experiences.

Tips to Catching Your Man:

1. Realistic Expectations

2. Confidence and Smarts

3. Sex

4. Food

5. Football/Sports

6. Genuineness and Fun

Have more tips?  Share!


Oh Penis, are you big enough?

Oh penis, you have so many critics!

Our society tells you that you are not big enough, need to be better, or so big you need to show the world.

Just perusing through male magazines and erotic ones too, one only has to flip through the pages to find the multitude of advertisements aimed to help you grow bigger, longer, stronger.

What pressure!  

How unfair for such a nerve filled, life affirming, physical appendage.

Performance pressure in and of itself can be overwhelming.

Just think of  all the typical pressures on you Mr Penis: will you last long enough before you ejaculate, will you have the moves that will please your partner,  will you be liked, will they want you again, do you do it ‘right’?

Now add the emphasis on penis size: will you stand up among the rest to impress your sexual partner; will your girth fill them up; will you be able to satisfy them with your flesh wand of pleasure ?

Oh MY!  With all this pressure, how can men even relax enough to be good lovers ?!

The average penis size erect is between 5 to 6 inches.  In its flaccid state, often 3 inches or less.  This is not a samurai sword nor the itty bitty caterpillar, its just a normal penis. Of which I hope you can become a fan, whether you meet the average marker or not.

What surprises me most about the penile debate and emphasize on size, is the lack of comparison to the vagina.   If the majority of men are placing their erect penises in a vagina, and want their penis to be 8″;  did anyone ask:  Will it even fit ?!?

I have  never seen an ad promoting increased vagina capacity, nor heard men brag of their partners vaginal size.

The average vagina is 3 1/2 inches non aroused and can expand to 5 1/2 when stimulated.  If men are focused on gaining a 7 to 8 inch penis, yet the maximum length is around 5 1/2 inches, your wasting almost 2 to 3 inches.

The rest is just for show.

Research recently conducted by Dr. Tae Beom Kim,a urologist at Gachon University in Incheon, Korea, examined penile size in relation to index to ring finger ratio. His team reportedly found that, in general, the shorter the index finger is to the ring finger of the right hand, the longer the stretched length of the penis, aka erect penis size.

Are you looking at your fingers now?  

Evidently looking at a man’s shoe size is not indicative of potential penis size.

I wonder why Dr. Kim even thought of completing this research?  I know, its just another way to overemphasis penile size and a way for a fully clothed man to be ‘sized’ up.

Stop looking at your fingers, ignore the critics, befriend your penis, and move along confidently in the pleasure potential of that 5″ penis.  He deserves support and hopefully even accolades.

Oh penis, you can have one big fan…..the man of which you’re attached and hopefully his partner.


Sex: If it does not end with orgasm, How do I know when its over?

This is part two of my video blog addressing the sexual issues of: Orgasms, how fast is too fast= Rapid Ejaculation.

I noted in my first video blog that sex does not end just because the male ejaculates….this comment lead to many emails. I received questions such as “when IS  sex over”,  “How long do I need to stay awake”, “Really?!?, Well I’m done”.

Enjoy the video to gain a better understanding of when sex is over  and ending with two satisfied people.


Sex Show at School

Three months ago, Psychology Professor John Michael Bailey, held one hell of a human sexuality class at Northwestern University. An after class demonstration showed a female being masturbated by her male partner with a sex toy (referred to as the F@#K saw) in the Ryan Family Auditorium.

I thought we had to go to Amsterdam to see one of those shows and for a fee, let alone free on campus in the auditorium!  In Amsterdam years ago, I attempted to convince my college cohorts to see a live sex show, yet I was the only one with any interest and being young and alone in a sex theater, it felt a bit too risky to my safety; therefore, I missed out.  A friend of mine years later told me they attended a sex show and found it less than arousing and too robotic in nature. It must be just like those other days we spend in the office with mundane tasks and the same people.  I wonder if they say something like… “Well I have to have sex again with Lisa at 3pm”.

Faith Kroll and her fiance Jim Marcus  used the sex toy in the after class demonstration in order to show a female orgasm.  I remember in my human sexuality classes  watching videos from the 1970’s of women masturbating to orgasm and one with a camera showing the internal view of the vagina during orgasm. The times they are a changin’.

http://www.suntimes.com/4099633-417/northwestern-university-defends-after-class-live-sex-demonstration.html

I would recommend viewing the website:  www.Ifeelmyself.com or http://www.beautifulagony.com to look at a variety of ‘vinegar faces’ (facial expressions made during orgasm) and of course the in-vivo experiment of watching yourself and/or your partner.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/hl-50101556/the_league_the_vinegar_face_season_2/

Even with the scientific fact that humans orgasm  with 5 to 10 contractions that occur at an average interval of 0.6 seconds with an increasing increment of 0.1 seconds per contraction, a general understanding of a time range and typical stimulation needed, there is a wide variation in sensation, intensity, time, and expression in orgasm. For the students of NW Human Sexuality class, they were able to witness Ms. Kroll’s orgasmic experience.

At first Northwestern University stood behind Professor Bailey stating “Northwestern University faculty members engage in teaching and research on a wide variety of topics, some of them controversial and at the leading edge of their respective disciplines” (Alan K. Cubbage).  Professor Bailey offered “Sticks and stones may break your bones,but watching naked people on stage doing pleasurable things will never hurt you.”  I am very uncertain whether he would state the same thing today.

This week, Northwestern University decided to take a drastic step…..CANCELING THE WHOLE COURSE!  Maybe they could have informed Professor Bailey of the inappropriateness of live sexual behavior in the auditorium and even reprimanded him, yet he will remain teaching other courses; it is just this course is punished.  Logic: inappropriate after class presentation= cancel class to prevent further inappropriate presentations?!?!

NO, I do not see the logic.

Human Sexuality courses are often the most popular electives on campus.  This is another attempt to shame/blame/limit sexuality verses providing appropriate options. I wish the professor would have limited the presentation to a verbal discussion-slide show-videos of the kink community and to Ms. Krolls description of her orgasm, yet he went all the way.  Mind you, Ms. Kroll reports one of her fetishes is ‘exhibitionism’ so I would assume her display and experience was pleasurable. I am uncertain what if anything is learned from the university’s banning of the course. Most professors would limit live displays of sex, so it does not seem to be a lesson for them. Then who, Who learns from the ban? Not the students, they are no longer offered the educational opportunity to take a human sexuality course. Oh thats right…we learn the societal message that sex is shameful, dirty, and limited.  You show it, we ban it!

I agree it was a poor choice on the professors behalf, he could have easily suggested the students speak with the presenters after class if they were interested in further information. This could have led to an even more personal display of the female orgasm.

Lets agree that sex has a wonderful place in our lives:  in private with consenting adults, and we’ll pass having it  in the university classroom.

Want to see a sex show?

Try out a show in Amsterdam.

Explore your orgasm or that of your partner.

Remember to support human sexuality classes.

Let Northwestern know that banning the course doesn’t send any other message than academic censorship!!!!


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