Tag Archives: real sex

Eat me Tom Cat

There is an unusual phenomenon regarding cats and mice and its all due to a parasite called Toxoplasma gondii.

“It uses a remarkable trick to spread from rodents to cats: It alters the brains of infected rats and mice so that they become attracted to—rather than repelled by—the scent of their predators. A new study reveals that rodents infected with the parasitic protozoa are drawn to the smell of cat urine, apparently having lost their otherwise natural aversion to the scent.”

“There are a million examples of parasites manipulating host behavior,” said Robert Sapolsky, a Stanford University neuroscientist who collaborated with Vyas.”



In other words:

Mouse infected by Toxoplasma gondii

Mouse likes cat

Cat eats mouse

Parasite breeds in the gut of Cat

Cat poops

A new mouse eats the poop and likes cat

Cat eats mouse

And the cycle continues.

Humans too can be affected by this parasite but whether behavioral effects occur are controversial in the science community.

What we do know is even without this toxic brainwashing parasite in our own brains, we too can ask the Tomcat to eat us.

Figuratively of course.





Tomcats and mice are metaphors for the toxic relationships and situations in which we may place ourselves.

When we act like the infected mouse, we are walking into and staying in, toxic relationships.


According to LiveStrong, and author Dr. Cindy Solliday-McRoy

These are 36 signs you are in a toxic relationship:

“1. Your partner constantly puts you down verbally, in private or in front of others.

2. Your partner makes you feel ugly and stupid.

3. Your partner tells you s/he loves you but her/his behavior suggests otherwise.

4. Your partner does not want you to see or talk to friends or family.

5. Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your kids.

6. Your partner constantly accuses you of being unfaithful to her/him.

7. Your partner shows up often at your work unexpectedly just to check-up on you.

8. Your partner opens and reads your mail before giving it to you.

9. Your partner calls you or text messages you often to see what you are doing.

10. Your partner hides from you what s/he is up to and gets angry when you “pry” into her/his business.

11. You feel depressed, anxious or “crazy” over your relationship.

12. You cry more often that you laugh or smile over your relationship.

13. Your partner says you would have the perfect relationship if only you would change.

14. Your partner wants you to be dependent on her/him.

15. Your partner does things for you and then uses them to make you feel obligated.

16. You never know who is going to show-up, “Dr. Jeckel or Mr. Hyde.”

17. You feel like you’re on a never-ending E-motional roller coaster ride.

18. When it’s good, it’s really good, but what it’s bad it’s a nightmare.

19. You can’t wait for the “honeymoon” period, after the fight.

20. Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments, wants and needs are devalued.

21. You don’t know who you are anymore without her/him.

22. You feel like you couldn’t survive without her/her

23. You feel like your whole word revolves around her/him.

24. Your friends/family don’t like your partner or don’t think s/he is good for you.

25. You have changed things about your-Self to suit your partner, even when it’s not your taste.

26. You always go where your partner wants to, like movies, restaurants, etc.

27. You have no idea what your likes, dislikes, wants, needs or preferences are anymore.

28. You feel afraid or unsafe with your partner.

29. You afraid to speak the truth with your partner for fear of upsetting him/her.

30. You feel like you have to walk on egg shells whenever you’re with your partner.

31. You don’t feel you have control of your life anymore.

32. Your self-esteem is lower since you’ve been with your partner.

33. You stay in the relationship because you think no one else would want you.

34. You think it’s up to you to make the relationship work.

35. You keep secrets about your relationship from others who love you because they wouldn’t understand.

36. You can’t remember the last time you felt truly happy for more than a few days, perhaps hours, at a time.”

Pay attention to the above signs.

Set limits and healthy boundaries

Talk with friends and family

Get support and stop presenting yourself to the hungry Tomcat.

Tomcat…you’re not going to eat this one!

Oh Penis, are you big enough?

Oh penis, you have so many critics!

Our society tells you that you are not big enough, need to be better, or so big you need to show the world.

Just perusing through male magazines and erotic ones too, one only has to flip through the pages to find the multitude of advertisements aimed to help you grow bigger, longer, stronger.

What pressure!  

How unfair for such a nerve filled, life affirming, physical appendage.

Performance pressure in and of itself can be overwhelming.

Just think of  all the typical pressures on you Mr Penis: will you last long enough before you ejaculate, will you have the moves that will please your partner,  will you be liked, will they want you again, do you do it ‘right’?

Now add the emphasis on penis size: will you stand up among the rest to impress your sexual partner; will your girth fill them up; will you be able to satisfy them with your flesh wand of pleasure ?

Oh MY!  With all this pressure, how can men even relax enough to be good lovers ?!

The average penis size erect is between 5 to 6 inches.  In its flaccid state, often 3 inches or less.  This is not a samurai sword nor the itty bitty caterpillar, its just a normal penis. Of which I hope you can become a fan, whether you meet the average marker or not.

What surprises me most about the penile debate and emphasize on size, is the lack of comparison to the vagina.   If the majority of men are placing their erect penises in a vagina, and want their penis to be 8″;  did anyone ask:  Will it even fit ?!?

I have  never seen an ad promoting increased vagina capacity, nor heard men brag of their partners vaginal size.

The average vagina is 3 1/2 inches non aroused and can expand to 5 1/2 when stimulated.  If men are focused on gaining a 7 to 8 inch penis, yet the maximum length is around 5 1/2 inches, your wasting almost 2 to 3 inches.

The rest is just for show.

Research recently conducted by Dr. Tae Beom Kim,a urologist at Gachon University in Incheon, Korea, examined penile size in relation to index to ring finger ratio. His team reportedly found that, in general, the shorter the index finger is to the ring finger of the right hand, the longer the stretched length of the penis, aka erect penis size.

Are you looking at your fingers now?  

Evidently looking at a man’s shoe size is not indicative of potential penis size.

I wonder why Dr. Kim even thought of completing this research?  I know, its just another way to overemphasis penile size and a way for a fully clothed man to be ‘sized’ up.

Stop looking at your fingers, ignore the critics, befriend your penis, and move along confidently in the pleasure potential of that 5″ penis.  He deserves support and hopefully even accolades.

Oh penis, you can have one big fan…..the man of which you’re attached and hopefully his partner.

Start Exploring

Writing this first blog post has me in a unique state of quietness and hesitancy.  My words tend to easily flow from out of my mouth, yet by my hands it is a much more sluggish process.  I hope that as I muse over sexual issues, relationship challenges, and how they relate to current events and even sports,  that you the reader, can open your mind, learn, explore, challenge and enjoy it!

My new adventures of blogging correspond with the beginning of my attempts to write a book.  After thinking over my message, interests, and target audience, I’ve have decided that football and sex are a great combination….I could add food to that one but it will have to wait. In the beginning stages of researching the current offerings on sex and football, the book offerings appear slim. Even slimmer is the google search of the combination of ‘sex and football’ which leads to sex scandals from football players and a few book links, yet nothing about combining two great passions.

A handful of authors have attempted to use the analogies offered in football and relate them to relationships, yet upon a brief viewing, they appear full of romantic ideologies.  I want to use the sport and parallel it to ways to improve your sex life, actually enjoy your partner, and enhance your desire both inside and outside of the bedroom.  Despite many books on romance that focus on ‘the one’, ‘your soul mate” or ‘knight in shining armor’,  I want to get real.  Real sex, real people, real foibles, real temptations and hopefully real fun!

I do not believe in the idea of the ‘soul mate’ or ‘the one’. This just fuels our fantasies of the perfect partner, perfect life and perfect ending. Outcome: disappointment, disappointment, disappointment.  Lets try out the ideas of the ‘knight in rusty armor’, that ‘certain someone’ which you’re attracted to-has similar values and interest- you really enjoy being around- enhances who are you are as an individual….that sounds much better to me.  I am for certain as I put this book together:  romance is out, and empowerment/learning/adventures are IN.

As a start to my book research, I purchased “Take your Eye off the Ball” by Pat Kirwan (popular NFL analyst) and hope as I read I can easily make a connection between football and our sex lives.  I was so excited when in the introduction alone,  I read: “Television delivers a visually compelling experience when it comes to covering a live game, its just that the in depth football content often is unexplored.” (pg. xii).  What do you think  of when you read this comment and think of sex?

My thoughts: Porn!

Pornography can be a “visually compelling experience'”,  stimulating, fun for fantasy, and even on occasion improve our sex life, yet the realism of it all,  is that so much of the content of sex  is “often unexplored”.  Mainstream porn is full of thin, tan bodies, large breasts, and overtly fake orgasms; males always ready for sex, with not only an available partner but an aroused one, large penises,  projectile ejaculations,  who is craved by a room of lustful women of which he can please for hours on end without ejaculating too quickly, and  he doesn’t seem concerned about losing his erection  let alone his interest. Porn shows a seemingly idealized view of what others think sex is….supposed to look…supposed to last…supposed to be. It leaves so much out of what real sex is about.  Televised Football and Sex leave so much unexplored!  So ‘Start Exploring’!

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