Tag Archives: schwarzenegger

Sex Scandals: Schwartzenegger, Edwards and Weiner

Sex Scandals are filling up the pages of electronic media, on air minutes, magazine covers, and even our nightly news.

Many experts are offering up their opinions and insights into the causes, effects,and reactions to infidelity and sexual acting out.  Today, I will not be one of the explanatory experts, yet instead a questioner.

A questioner of why our culture is so swept away in sexual scandals.

Why it is you buy the magazines, click on the web articles, and turn up the volume?

Is it our voyeuristic desires to see what others are doing behind closed doors so that we may feel less twisted in our own wishes?

A validation of our own indiscretions?

An affirmation of our ‘goodness’ in the face of such behavior?

An ability to judge the weakness of another?

Do we interest ourselves in the private lives of others just to side with the ‘least guilty’ party while damning the ‘guilty’ one?

Is our self-esteem boosted by the failing of another?

Is it our bedrooms, our relationships, or our political careers that are threatened? For 99% of us, the answer is No.

…Oh but it’s so Juicy, So Scandalist , Just So…… (you fill in the blank)

Why do we care?

We care that Arnold and his maid reportedly engaged in near daily romps for years with a child born out of their long-standing tryst?

How many politicians can we think of that had children with their mistresses?

Ode to love children: Strom Thurmond, the bigoted conservative South Carolina Senator, was in a  hot scandal with his ‘love child’ born from an African American mother.  Thomas Jefferson’s fathered several children with his slave, Sally Hemings.  Civil Rights leader, Jesse Jackson admitted to having a child from an extra marital affair.  Presidents Grover Cleveland and William J Hardy both were reported to have children out of wedlock.

Infidelity and ‘love children’ are not a 21st Century phenomenon.

We care that Mr. Weiner had an erection where one could see a distinct penile outline through his gray boxer briefs? Is this situation as new one? According to Bethanny Marshall a Marriage Therapist noted,  “Basically, people are engaging in the same fantasies and behaviors that they always have, but now they have the technology to back it up.”

Social Media and Technology make accessible all that previously would have been too far, too risky, or too obvious. Our ‘hidden’ and in Weiners case, ‘not so hidden’ sexual acting out.  


Now Edwards situation, may cause reasonable social backlash from his campaign supporters whom hoped to see him win a Presidency and not to hide a love child or silence a mistress with their donated dollars. John Edwards is accused of improperly spending nearly one million dollars of campaign funds to keep his mistress and child out of sight during his White House bid.

Scandals at times appear synonymous with politicians.

Power, Sex, and Money. 

Our cultural fascination.

Are the reactions and/or interest in sexual scandals similar to our own morbid desires to slow down to see the damage from a tragic car accident?  Similar to our interest in seeing movie stars without their make up or previous athletes pack on an infinite number of pounds? Similar to watching horror films for the shock and awe, the squeal, the gasp, the commentary with our friends after.

Ohhhhhhh…..Lets take a look!

No, I don’t want to look (one hand only partially covering the eyes) but….We do.

We do look. We are curious.  Are interests are lifted.

One must acknowledge how the objects of our morbid curiosities have changed over this millennia, considering our past- where community entertainment covered public executions and arena sports filled with men and animals fighting to their deaths.

Considering such, I guess we have evolved.

Sexual scandals are merely a form of current social entertainment.

Yet, as long as it isn’t in our bedrooms, with our money, negatively effecting our choices, Who Cares!

It’s social amusement.

Buy your magazines, turn up the volume, gossip with your friends; sex scandals will never end.

As humans we will all continue to struggle with Power, Sex, and Money.

If you want, go look…you can.  But Who really cares?

I have the answer!: Why Schwarzenegger cheated with the maid.

The Arnold Schwarzeneggers affair and child with the maid is all over the headlines as the cause of his separation and soon to be divorce from Maria Shriver. This long standing couple maintained a 25 year marriage and had four children. Many experts are talking about the role power plays in men who have affairs.  Having social and financial power can encourage feelings of  invincibility, heightened ego, and a sense of entitlement; therefore believing in the illusion of – no consequences.  This theory can ring true in many situations, yet it in no ways explains the rate of extra marital affairs for the rest of us: plumbers, stay at home moms, accountants, nurses and the like. [photo: guerillawomentn.blogspot.com]

Research supports that 20-40% of men  and 20-25% of females engage in sexual affairs during their lifetime.  I do not believe the jilted spouse will feel too pleased or comforted with any answer they receive as to why the affair took place, yet there are a myriad of reasons, such as:  getting caught in order to depart or even ‘patch’ up the marriage ;  to gain more attention and independence; to supplement their marriage; to feel special, wanted, desired, and attractive; some want revenge; to feel youthful; more manly or feminine; some crave drama or adventure and lets not forget just plain bored. These are social and psychological influences behind why people have affairs.  This does not include our biological influences.  Helen Fischer states in her article Cheating Science, ” sexual betrayal is so widespread in nature that scientists now refer to monogamous species as practicing “social monogamy,” in which partners “play house” with one  individual…and cheat with others.”

Are we even meant to be monogamous? We know of the commonality of low libido in long term monogamous relationships, the high rate of divorce and the percentage of those having affairs nearing one half, many of us are effected. According to Christopher Ryan, Ph.D., a psychologist, teacher, and author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality (HarperCollins),”…human beings are clearly evolved for sex lives featuring multiple simultaneous sexual relationships.  Men, especially, are designed by evolution to be attracted to sexual novelty and to gradually lose sexual attraction to the same partner in the absence of such novelty. ”  This biological explanation does not excuse infidelity, yet it does allow us to consider innate temptation, hormonal influences, and the active control/restraint to stay faithful.  Biological influences may be more in play than one would guess, Glass and Wright (1985) report that some 56% of men and 34% of females described their marriage as “happy” or “very happy” even when engaging in extra marital affairs.  Monogamy is a choice, and sometimes that choice is very difficult.

Now in Schwarzenegger’s case, no one will truly know with 100% certainty why he chose to have an affair with the maid Patty, yet along with the above possibilities we must include: opportunity and proximity.

It is a rare day when one finds some validity albeit humorously on a comedy sitcom.  While watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother, the character Barney Stinton explains how a woman one finds very unattractive one day, can appear beautiful on another day and he goes on to describe the humorous- “Mermaid Theory”.  See the below skit to learn more and hopefully laugh.

Schwarzenegger had social and financial power, a long term marriage, male biology, and a female maid who worked for their family for 20 years.  In my opinion, it is likely that the most influential component in his decision to ‘step out’ was availability and opportunity. After 10 years, this maid (manatee) turned into a mermaid.

Now- you have your answer as to why Arnold had the affair…..’The Mermaid Theory’.

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