Tag Archives: sexy image

What is the Best Sex You’ve Ever Had? Was it Hall of Fame Worthy?

What is the Best Sex You’ve Ever Had? Was it Hall of Fame Worthy?

My newest Footballandsex.com blog ponders the characteristics that categorizes the best sex we’ve ever experienced.  It was influenced by the recent enshrinement of seven NFL athletes/coaches in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

A few share their necessary adjectives and brief highlighted sexual experiences.  Add yours, I’m interested.


Fifty Shades of…..Exhausting

Fifty Shades of……Exhausting

As a follow up to my last post recommending the ever popular Kindle and paperback book, Fifty Shades of Grey, I now retract my recommendation to read this erotic novel.

I melted and swooned over the first book, wishing to implant myself into the scenes of the Red Room of Pain, being a submissive to the  uber rich, über handsome, Mr. Christian Grey.

In book two, Fifty Shades Darker, the frustrating themes of control, over-thinking and insecurity become nauseating. I was able to set down my rational feminist self to enjoy book one, yet with the continuance of the above noted themes, I can no longer swoon, fantasize, or engage in my ‘orgasm drunk’ drinking game.

Anastasia, the female love interest, reinforces our societal view of women as jealous, insecure, and needy, over-thinkers.  Why does he love Me? Who  is She? Will he leave me for Her? Will I ever make him truly happy with all of his needs for Dominance?  Will the relationship last? Can I even continue to breathe if he is out of my life?  …… See….. Nauseating.

Fantasy is supposed to be just that- fantasy, which I easily accept with her orgasmic abilities, his financial successes, beauty, and sexual skills.  So, why is it necessary to reinforce a dependent stereotypical woman’s ability to breathe and thrive as only through our relationships with  men.

Can’t Anastasia be a confident, secure, young female who enjoys the interplay of agreed upon sexual submission and dominance without jealousy, second guessing his every move, and need to uncover his early life traumas?

Can’t Christian work through his trauma without overt control outside of the bedroom?

My fantasies do not include insecurities, themes of trauma, jealousy, nor a marriage proposal. As I see it, these narratives are unnecessary to a good erotic novel and spoil the escapism, arousal, and thrill we seek in these books.

Give me hot sex, stable characters and adventures, and keep all of our real life issues in our real lives.

Addendum:

I relapsed. Despite my exhaustion at EL James’ erotic series, I continue to read.

After finishing the second book, Fifty Shades Darker, I was so frustrated, I never would have guessed that I would purchase the third book in the series.

Seriously?

I recommend NOT reading Fifty Shades.. but continue to  myself?

I wondered why I bought book three, then I realized I couldn’t get a few images out of my mind.

At the end of Fifty Shades Darker, Christian and Anastasia are in the Red Room of Pain.  She is nude, on her knees, with her arms bound behind her, wearing an eye mask, a gag ball in her mouth,  just waiting for Christians touch.

Christian places nipple clamps on her, a vibrator inside her vagina, his finger in her rectum, all moving rhythmically to the blaring music.

This scene pulled me back in.

Back into the poor writing, drama, ridiculousness and exhaustion.

All for the mere hope of just one more erotic scenario that delights my fancy.

I guess I’m playing orgasm drunk again.

So read with caution, its awful, exhausting and unfortunately still addictive.


Seduce Me??

The age old art of Seduction

Temptation

Enticement

Charm

Appeal

Sex

There’s a variety of books, articles and websites talking specifically about how to seduce someone.  The M3 Model lists seduction in three phases:

Attraction, Comfort and Seduction.

The attraction phase is divided into :
A1 – Approach
A2 – Attracting the HB or Female-to-male Interest (Demonstrate high value, using gimmick, magic, psychic routine, humor ……)
A3 – Male-to-Female Interest (The hot babe must be baited into demonstrating her own value. By this way, you’re just attracted to her by her personality or charm, other than her looks)

The comfort phase is divided into :
C1 – Building rapport
C2 – Building emotional connection and physical connection
C3 – Intimacy

The seduction phase is divided into :
S1 – Foreplay
S2 – LMR  (Last Minute Resistance. Once you have it, she may say “we should stop …” or “We better be careful about where this is going”.)
S3 – Sex

The Game:“Penetrating the Society of Pickup Artists,”, by Neil Strauss, has 10 chapters which are titled: 1) Select a Target 2) Approach and Open 3) Demonstrate Value 4) Disarm the Obstacles 5) Isolate the Target  6) Create an Emotional Connection 7) Extract to a Seduction Location 8) Pump Buying Temperature  9) Blast Last Minute Resistance 10) Manage Expectations.

Is this really seduction?

It sounds to me like, Divide and Conquer. 

Power, Overtake, Master, Dominate, Manipulate and Control.

Where’s the love?

Psychology Today blogger Caroline Simon, PHD. defines seduction as:

“Seduction sets out to get a “yes” whether or not sex compromises the welfare and sexual autonomy of the seduced.  It is no accident that the root meaning of “seduce” is “separate” or lead away. Those who are seduced are led away from the values central to their own sense of integrity.”

“Seduction may look “romantic” but it is really all about self-centered power.”

Simon’s check list for seduction:

  1. There is mutual consent to all activities.
  2. The pursuer wants to get to know the pursued in order to obtain consent.
  3. Deception or calculated ambiguity is used to obtain consent.
  4. The pursuer is indifferent to the welfare of the pursued.
  5. The pursuer’s motives in the pursuit are personal pleasure or an ego-boost.
  6. The pursued person consents to sexual activities which he or she was averse to engaging in or which are at odds with his or her principles or priorities.
  7. The pursued person would not consent to all the activities engaged in unless he or she were deceived or manipulated.

That’s no fun.

Using your skills and attractiveness to lure someone in so that you can get them to do something willingly yet against their better judgement, their value system, and their real intent.

When you are interested in  ‘catching’ a guy or girl, pay attention to your intent.  Is it to bed them? To wed them? To date them? To win them over? Or just plain ‘get off’?

If your real intent is to bed them and get off, instead of utilizing the steps suggested for ‘seduction’, why not try honesty. Your hot, I’d really like to …… (you fill in the blank).

Be respectful, not only does that other person have attributes you find sexually arousing, they are also a person.  A person who deserves kindness, honesty, and respect.

How about we throw the whole seduction thing out of the window.

Power, control, manipulation, and disrespect for the other person’s values, has no place in the bedroom or in relationships.

Let’s flirt, tease, play – respectfully, consensual, while valuing the other person.

Seduce Me, not.

Lets play.

 

 

 

 


Sex and Beer

I recently wrote an article discussing sex and dating, asking the question, Sex, too early?  It addressed a suggested sociological/economic approach to sex: surmising sex too early (such as first date sex) reduces the social cost of sex; therefore, drastically changing courtship and reducing the need for marriage.  The authors recommended holding out on sex to secure a marital partner. 

 This idea, I refuted, of course. 

Sounds ‘old school’ to me and the only ‘old school’ I prefer is rap.

So why write about it again and mention beer? 

Because you may be one who feels there are occasions when first date sex fits and is right for you and your date.

If you have the interest and desire to have sex that first night, how might you determine if your female partner will be open and receptive?

According to recent research, if you want to know if she’s likely to sleep with you on the first date, just ask “Do you like Beer?”.

 OKTrends statistics states,  people who say they like the taste of beer are far more likely to be open to sex on the first date.

“No matter their gender or orientation, beer-lovers are 60 percent more likely to be OK with sleeping with someone they’ve just met,” OkCupid said in its blog poston the topic.

For women, OkCupid said the beer question was the only one with a meaningful correlation to first-date sex, but for men they found a few other key questions.

Asking, “In a certain light, wouldn’t nuclear war be exciting?” implied an 83 percent chance of first-date sex.

Two other questions — “Could you imagine yourself killing someone?” and “Assuming you were in the position to do so, would you launch nuclear weapons under any circumstances?” — both implied an 82 percent chance of sex on the first date.

Interesting.

This research  looks at just your mere liking of beer, not consumption and change in judgement (aka ‘beer googles’),  or how drinking lowers our inhibitions, nor our tendencies to make choices we typically would not make while sober and the like.
 
Just by enjoying the taste of beer makes us more sexually open.
 
Cheers to Sex and Beer.
 
 
You decide if: 1) you like beer 2) you are open to first date sex  then make it SMART, SAFE, and FUN.
 
 
 
 

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