Tag Archives: vagina

Your Vulva as Your BFF

Summers Eve wants women to become bff’s with their vaginas,  to be a ‘side kick’,  and give some love to their ‘vertical smile’.   They have created a whole marketing campaign entitled “Hail to the V”

Giving your vulva some loving… I’m all for it!

Clean genitals, feeling good about your vulva, being open to pleasure in your sexual partnership as well as on your own with masturbation,  and lets take it up one level to say-Vaginal Hubris.

Yet to have a company create a need by basically saying ‘your vulvas so stinky you need my product to be clean and smell good’, give me a break!

Our society sends negative messages about the natural smell of a vulva.  I’m sure you’ve heard of fish tacos, crotch rot,  stinky mulholland, garbage water, and a smelly kelly.

A distinct sexual challenge many women experience with the negative social messages is that their vulva is unattractive and indeed foul smelling .  This limits women’s ability to fully relax while engaging in love play and receiving oral sex.  It is all too common of a discussion in my practice with statements such as, ‘I worry I smell’,  ‘I don’t think its attractive’,  ‘its yucky ‘down there’,  ‘he shouldn’t have to do that’ and basically  ‘gross’.

Despite the blatant fact that receiving oral sex can be very enjoyable, plus with the direct stimulation to the vulva and particularly the clitoris with your partners tongue and fingers, it can bring vast pleasure.

We deserve pleasure-  both giving and receiving.

Our genitals sweat: vulvas, penis/testicles and anal areas.

Genital cleanliness is important for both sexes, not just women.  Isn’t it interesting that we have so many words to describe unclean vulvas yet limited for men?

I don’t know many, if any women, who would be interested in providing oral sex to their male partner after they mowed the lawn in 90 degree temperature.

Can you say salty balls, cheese cock, monkey butt? (see I did think of a few words for males HA).

Fortunately, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert continue to Rally for Sanity in many areas including this one. The Colbert Report came up with a male version of the Summers Eve commercial.

Both men and women: Wipe down, clean off your genitals; you have no need for special products, grab your soap and washcloth and go have fun.

Lets gain some vulva confidence.

Men like women who feel good about their bodies, know what they like, and are open to pleasure.

Your vulva can be a BFF (even without Summers Eve products).


Oh Penis, are you big enough?

Oh penis, you have so many critics!

Our society tells you that you are not big enough, need to be better, or so big you need to show the world.

Just perusing through male magazines and erotic ones too, one only has to flip through the pages to find the multitude of advertisements aimed to help you grow bigger, longer, stronger.

What pressure!  

How unfair for such a nerve filled, life affirming, physical appendage.

Performance pressure in and of itself can be overwhelming.

Just think of  all the typical pressures on you Mr Penis: will you last long enough before you ejaculate, will you have the moves that will please your partner,  will you be liked, will they want you again, do you do it ‘right’?

Now add the emphasis on penis size: will you stand up among the rest to impress your sexual partner; will your girth fill them up; will you be able to satisfy them with your flesh wand of pleasure ?

Oh MY!  With all this pressure, how can men even relax enough to be good lovers ?!

The average penis size erect is between 5 to 6 inches.  In its flaccid state, often 3 inches or less.  This is not a samurai sword nor the itty bitty caterpillar, its just a normal penis. Of which I hope you can become a fan, whether you meet the average marker or not.

What surprises me most about the penile debate and emphasize on size, is the lack of comparison to the vagina.   If the majority of men are placing their erect penises in a vagina, and want their penis to be 8″;  did anyone ask:  Will it even fit ?!?

I have  never seen an ad promoting increased vagina capacity, nor heard men brag of their partners vaginal size.

The average vagina is 3 1/2 inches non aroused and can expand to 5 1/2 when stimulated.  If men are focused on gaining a 7 to 8 inch penis, yet the maximum length is around 5 1/2 inches, your wasting almost 2 to 3 inches.

The rest is just for show.

Research recently conducted by Dr. Tae Beom Kim,a urologist at Gachon University in Incheon, Korea, examined penile size in relation to index to ring finger ratio. His team reportedly found that, in general, the shorter the index finger is to the ring finger of the right hand, the longer the stretched length of the penis, aka erect penis size.

Are you looking at your fingers now?  

Evidently looking at a man’s shoe size is not indicative of potential penis size.

I wonder why Dr. Kim even thought of completing this research?  I know, its just another way to overemphasis penile size and a way for a fully clothed man to be ‘sized’ up.

Stop looking at your fingers, ignore the critics, befriend your penis, and move along confidently in the pleasure potential of that 5″ penis.  He deserves support and hopefully even accolades.

Oh penis, you can have one big fan…..the man of which you’re attached and hopefully his partner.


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