Tag Archives: what is sexy

Am I Hot? Am I sexy?

This question is asked so often that you can submit your photo to various websites and have others rate your sexiness: http://www.HotOrNot.com, http://www.amIhotornot.com, http://www.pictures2rate.com, or get the Iphone app- “Am I hot” and “Am I sexy” for those daily sexy check-ins.

Still not sure if you’re sexy enough, you can take a variety of quizzes: http://www.gotoquiz.com/are_you_hot_or_not_11 , http://www.quizrocket.com/how-sexy-are-you, or my new favorite, http://www.sexytester.com which determined my Supermodel Sexy status!  Despite its lack of validity, I am holding onto that status… I mean how often does a nearly 40 year old red headed, fair skinned, mother, wife, therapist get that high of a ranking. Particularly when I am reminded of a  study in the Journal of Applied Psychology that showed … ‘no tan’ is perceived as both least healthy and attractive. After which I am boosted back into confidence with the Urban Dictionary definition of a red head as “An exotic woman with a fiery temper. One of the most beautiful creatures on Earth, too bad there are so little of them. Rumored to have a three times as powerful sex drive as normal women.” Wow…That is Supermodel Sexy.

See, hot is a commodity.

Everyone wants to know.

Who do men find Sexy?

According to Askmen.com, The number one ranked,Top 99 Sexy Women 2011 Edition is: Blake Lively

Esquire votes Katrina Boweley as the Sexiest Woman Alive 2011.

FHM’s number one selection- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

I doubt many would disagree with the FHM vote!

The reasons behind the picks are obvious physical beauty.

Yet what about the rest of us with muffin tops, acne, pointy noses, knobby knees, wrinkles and  a love of cats?

According to a WikiHow article, http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Hot, they provide 6 tips of how to be hot and a list of things you’ll need to increase your chances of ‘hotness’.  The authors noted a ‘Hot Need’ as:

  • Makeup
  • Decent but at the same time stylish clothes
  • Skin tight jeans
  • Chic accessories
  • Great pair of shoes
Sexiest??
Misogynistic??
Yes!
Now this “How To” video actually uses research to validate there points.
I thought for a moment it was satire, but unfortunately I was wrong.
Funnyordie.com is always the best place to go for a video laugh:
They just lay it out there: Beer makes girls sexy
I discovered a list of secret ways to be irresistible to a man (I would include women in here also), by Brandon Martin.
Mr. Martin list 12 Secrets to Irresistibility:
1. Sense of Humor
2. Youthfulness (as a state of mind)
3. Body Language
4. Positive Emotional Expression
5. Patience
6. Self Care & Beauty
7. Intelligence
8. Not “needing” but wanting (the relationship/person)
9. Nurturance
10.Sexually Adventurous
11. Love
12. Integrity
Right on Brandon!
What does research tell us?

According to a recent APA article,

“Women find happy men less sexually attractive than those with expressions that show pride or hint that they have done wrong and know it, according to Canadian researchers. The men’s reaction was just the opposite. Women who smile are absolutely very attractive. That was by far the most attractive expression women showed”.  http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/26/us-smiles-sex-idUSTRE74O5ZT20110526  [photo: amominredhighheels.com]

Alright, so ladies, now we scientifically know to: SMILE.  Yet I must ask about personality?  To me, this is what makes most of us attractive. In the Journal of Social Psychology Swami, et al. (2010), researchers  asked males to rate “the attractiveness of photographs of various female figures (ranging from emaciated to obese). Some participant groups received positive personality information about the women in the pictures (extraverted, agreeable, conscientious, open, and stable), while others received negative personality information, or no information at all. Results found that all groups agreed on the body shape that was “most” attractive. However, groups given positive personality information found a significantly wider range of body sizes physically attractive, compared to the control group. Groups given negative personality information found a significantly narrower range of body sizes attractive than the control group.” http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/is-your-personality-making-you-more-or-less-physically-attractive

Lewandowski, Aron, and Gee (2007) study Personality Goes a Long Way, supports this effect. “The authors found that pictures paired with positive traits were rated as more attractive, and those paired with negative traits were rated as less attractive, when compared to controls…Finally, the effect also influenced judgments of desirability as a dating partner.”

“Additional research found that perceived honesty affects judgments of physical attractiveness as well (Paunonen, 2006). Similarly, naturalistic studies also show that judgments of physical attractiveness are influenced by familiarity, liking, respect, talent, and effort (Kniffin & Wilson, 2004). This occurs with both men and women. Overall, personality and character information appears to have an impact on perceptions of physical attractiveness.” http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/is-your-personality-making-you-more-or-less-physically-attractive

Yeah! Personality is HOT!

Have you ever asked, What if I don’t have much looks OR personality?  Don’t fret Jae with Kinowear has some tips:

“If you’re trying to build a more attractive personality, the most effective way to do this is to surround yourself with people who are better than you in an area you want to improve. They give you the belief that it’s possible to get there, advice and feedback on the spot when you need it, and a competitive drive to fill the gap between where you are and where you want to be.   Whether you’re trying to learn how to be funnier, more confident with women, or more stylish, go out there and get as much DIRECT second-hand knowledge as possible, but remember to work harder to take action on it and make it your OWN (first-hand) experience. This in turn will create the BELIEF structure that will fuel you towards more growth in that area. Without any belief you won’t have the foundation to grow at all.You have no excuse not to go out there and build a part of your personality. It’s easier than it sounds. Follow these principles and enjoy the ride.  Jae”

http://www.kinowear.com/blog/building-an-attractive-personality

If you want to know if you’re sexy, just ask yourself:

Do I feel sexy?

Do I  shine as a person, am I optimistic?

Is my life filled with positive relationships?

Do I have an open giving spirit, honesty, and integrity?

Do I feel confident in my sexual self?

If so, then YES ….you too are “Supermodel Sexy’…but don’t forget to……..SMILE! (and get off those silly ‘sexy’ sites)


Sexy is: Thoughts on real players, NFL style

While viewing Victoria’s Secret most recent video “What is Sexy list: 2011” (by Madoff Productions), I began to wonder that same question.  Not only what is sexy but what makes someone sexy AND who would be considered sexy in the NFL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ulg6qoqWKRA&feature=

Many men come up on differing lists of the top sexiest NFL players. Two magazines in particular shared their favorites.

Cosmopolitan Magazine had an article on the “hottest football players out there…”.  Included in there list of 11 men were: Tony Gonzalez- Atlanta Falcons, David Anderson -Houston Texans, Terrell Owens- Buffalo Bills, Wes Welker – New England Patriots, Matt Forte -Bears, Matt Cassell- Kansas City Chiefs and so on.  These players were telling their turns ons, pet peeves, and how to land a second date.  I found Mr. Forte’s most inspiring with his quote “I hate bad breath and bad attitudes”, I assume he must not have morning sex as bad breath is guaranteed. Now, Cassell he’s into that breath thing too, noting a turn off would be if his date said she had garlic for lunch. I would think ‘hey, maybe she loves Italian food as much as I do, great!’. As you can tell, the hottest football players had obvious physical attraction, yet not one insightful statement which might help the ladies better understand what a man wants in a relationship or to help us better define sexy.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/dating-tips-from-football-players

Essence magazine had an article entitled “Eye Candy:Sexy NFL Players 2011”. Now the Essence group- they trumped up the sexiness to 24 men.  A few of these men included were, Thomas Jones-KC Chiefs, Braylon Edwards -NY Jets, Troy Polamalu-Steelers, Chris Harris- Bears, Ladanian Tomlinson-NY Jets and even….Michael Vick- Philadelphia Eagles.

http://photos.essence.com/galleries/eye_candy_sexy_nfl_players_2011#606361

It appears many players can score both on and off the field.

I would basically agree with both lists on the physical attractiveness of the selected players, yet is that all there is to sexiness?

I concur with the Huffington Post blogger, Linda E. Savage, in her “What is Sexy” article Feb 5, 2010.  She lists 5 things that make a person sexy and leaves the last up to the individuals taste.

“1) Sexy is feeling good, having energy and time to relax
2) Sexy is loving the interaction with a partner and letting them know it: AKA Flirting
3) Sexy is really appreciating the beauty of your partner–their inner beauty.
4) Sexy is enjoying movement, skin contact, touch, smell, taste–all of it.
5) Sexy is thinking about sensual and sexual moments and finding pleasure in the memory and anticipation.
6) Okay, now it’s your turn, fill in the blank: Sexy is __________________”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-e-savage/what-is-sexy_b_451665.html

There is even a website called “R U SEXY” at http://www.sexytester.com; they list three main components to sexiness: image, confidence, and attitude. I must admit, I took a low step and completed the test, mostly out of amusement and it determined that I was a “Supermodel Sexy”, which unfortunately challenges any validity to this self absorbed most likely created by two intoxicated college students test.   It did however note that I had an average image of myself, high confidence and a great attitude. As I tend to say, I’m cuter than my pictures because pictures can’t show personality. It must be this test assessed my traits in confidence and attitude therefore giving me top honors!

Now I would add: humor, intelligence, personality, character, and caring to the list of whats sexy.  If we put all of these together how will we ever find enough men to fill a list of 8, let alone, 8 NFL players?!?!!

Why 8?  Everyone’s used to ‘TOP 10’….so I wanted to go to 8 and then you can decide who you would put as the last two.

Surprisingly they are out there!

Anton Therapy’s List of the NFL’s Top Sexiest Players of 2011

(in no particular order)

Adrian Peterson- RB-Minnesota Vikings

Adrian easily meets the physical attractiveness criteria for sexiness, yet we noted sexiness is more than just looks.  So what else is ‘game’ about Adrian??- He has the third highest average yards per game total in NFL history, was a Heisman Trophy finalist, received the “Emerging Leader” award for volunteer work with the Special Olympics, The African American Adoption Agency and the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Minnesota. He recently participated in the Starkey Hearing Foundation that provided 555 hearing devices to Uganda. Peterson has his own foundation entitled “All Day Foundation” which supports many philanthropic organizations such as the Boys and Girls Club, Special Olympics of Minnesota, etc. Adrian experienced some rough times growing up with the incarceration of his father, and early death of a brother.  He makes my list for attractiveness, great play, philanthropy and perseverance.

Nnamdi Asomugha CB-Oakland Raiders

Nnamdi is one of the top defensive players in the NFL; he received the “Whizzer” White NFL Man of the year award in 2009, was selected as a member of the Fox Sports and USA Today’s All Decade Team and as a starter for the 2011 Pro Bowl Team.  What is even more impressive is his off the field game: activism and philanthropy. Off the field, education and community service are his mainstays.  The Asomugha Foundation operates two primary programs: Orphans and Widows In Need and Asomugha College Tour for Scholars. He joined former President Bill Clinton, actor Matthew McConaguhey , and Marie Tillman at the 2009 Meeting of Clinton Global Initiative University to discuss the importance of global service and student activism. He was named Home Depot MVP 2007 for his community service, Essence Magazine “Do Right Men” 2008, The President’s Volunteer Service Award in 2008, named “Dream Team for Public Service” by the Jefferson Awards for public service and became an ambassador for the United Way of the Bay Area. Finally, he was a finalist for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award.  Nnamdi has stretched his talents in the acting field and his credits include: Friday Night Lights, The Game, and Leverage. This man’s community service is sexy enough, let alone his physicality -one can melt at his looks in a GQ spread.

Myron Rolle-  Tenessee Titans Safety

Myron is one of those rare gems, that places academia on a higher plane than sports. Mr. Rolle wants both an NFL and a neurosurgery career….I believe he will excel at both.  He postponed his NFL career due to being awarded a Rhodes Scholarship where he studied medical anthropology at Oxford University. Smart = Sexy!   His college career at Florida State led to many accolades, both scholastic and athletic.  In 2008, Myron earned Associated Press 3rd team All-American honors, Football Writers Association America 2nd team All-ACC, and CoSIDA Academic All-America. Even with his short pro career and young age (25), he has made a positive presence in the philanthropic world.  Rolle is the founder of ‘Our Way to Health’ – an educational anti-childhood obesity program for Native Americans. Rolle, in conjunction with Florida Secretary of Children and Family Services, runs a week long Myron Rolle Wellness and Leadership Academy for Foster Care children in Florida.The Foundation plans to open a free health services clinic in Steventon, Exuma, in the Bahamas, his home land. The clinic will be named the Myron L. Rolle Medical Clinic and Sports Complex. Additionally,
Rolle is a member of the Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity.Check him out at: http://www.myronrolle.com, and be charmed at his way with words, intelligence, looks and grace. Smart = Sexy.

Dhani Jones- Cinncinati Bengals LB

“Dhani”  means ‘thinking man’ in the Hindi language and Dhani Jones fits up to his name. He is known as the renaissance man, a poet, and fashion icon, as well as having a high interest in the arts and culture. In an ’09 Mens Health Magazine article he states: “We don’t devote enough attention to the mind. It’s the most important thing in life, the center of all actions. My dad gave me Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl when I was in 10th grade, and it affected my understanding of life, my attempts to reach self-actualization. The intellectual connection my father and I have allows for a certain creative interaction, whether it’s in person or over the phone late at night”. I would say, more more Mr Jones! How can one look that good, play that well, and show interest in self actualization, the community, the environment, and loves to travel??  I think I’ll faint!  Dhani hosts the Travel Channel show “Dhani Tackles the Globe”, he founded a company that sells high end bowties, writes movie reviews and commentary for ESPN, and has hosted the ESPN2 show Timeless.  Mr Jones utilizes his high end bowties for a cause, as a portion of the proceeds benefit various non profit organizations. He co-created and appeared in a Public Service Announcement for Gore’s Climate Change Project as well as the United Nations World Food Program.  In 2007 he visited Africa to bring attention to the effects of environmental neglect by industrialized countries.  Dhani currently serves on the entertainment council to end hunger for Feeding America.  From his success in college ball at the University of Michigan, playing with the Giants, Eagles and now the Benglas, Dhani has proved a forceful player both on and off the field. One can’t deny the bowtie!

Madieu Williams- Minnesota Vikings Safety

2010 was a great year for Madieu Williams, he was named the Vikings Community Man of the Year AND  received the highest honor- The Walter Payton Man of the Year Award.  He stands out for his performance locally, nationally and globally. The Sierra Leone native and seven year NFL vetern, he made global headlines with a generous donation of  $2 million dollars to create The Madieu Williams Center for Global Health that is affiliated with the University of Maryland. The center’s focus is on public health issues in both Prince George’s County and Sierra Leone. He has funded the construction of one school in Sierra Leone and another second school is in the process of being built.” Madieu’s foundation sponsored a mission to Sierra Leone that flew American teachers, dentists and surgeons to help educate the teachers at his school, give free dental cleanings to all of the students and provide free surgeries.” (Viking news http://www.vikings.com/news/article-1/Madieu-Williams-Named-2010-Walter-Payton-NFL-Man-Of-The-Year/3bc26867-79ef-419d-82fc-e1d2a6629e67).  Madieu also has worked locally with the North Community YMCA, United Way and Harvest Prep/Seed Academy, provides season tickets for the kids in his “Dieu’s Crew” and hosts a free football summer camp in Maryland.  This level of activism and recognition can go unmatched. Madieu is definitely a Top 8!

Jason Taylor- NY Jets DE

Now we’re getting into a seasoned player, a dancing man, a man nearing my age and a family man.  At the age of 36, Taylor has played for the Miami Dolphins, Washington Redskins and now with the Jets.  Taylor was raised by a single mother in Pittsburgh, was home schooled for a time and considered too small for the position of defensive end, yet he became a six time Pro Bowl selection. Thats Perseverance!  He married Katrina in June 2001 and they have three children: Isaiah, Mason, and Zoe. A few years back, Taylor walked away from the $8.5 million he was scheduled to make from the Redskins when he refused to spend the offseason at Redskins Park, preferring instead to spend the off-season with his family in Miami.  Unfortuanetly they don’t give awards to placing your family first but they do give out a lot of awards for athletic skills. Jason has won numerous awards throughout his career, the 2006 NFL Defensive Player of the Year award and the 2007 Walter Payton Man of the Year Award. Taylor is also a six-time Pro Bowl selection, a four-time First or Second Team All-Pro, a two time (2005 & 2006) NFL Alumni Association Defensive Lineman of the Year, and the 2000 NFL Alumni Association Pass Rusher of the Year. In 2004, Jason and his wife created the Jason Taylor Foundation- Building a Better Future.  The Foundation has contributed $1.3 million to over 40 different organizations dedicated to working with children. One part of the foundation is  The Jason Taylor’s ‘Reading Room’ , its an after school program designed to combat illiteracy in inner city youth. What we have in Mr Taylor is, a dancing man, a family man, a community man and a football man. I would say he’s the man that easily fits the definition of sexy. I’ll dance to that!

Peyton Manning- Indianapolis Colts QB

Peyton in this category is a no brainer; now that isn’t so much because of his sexy looks but more so for his charisma, humor and contributions….great stats help too. Manning holds the record for the most NFL MVP awards, holds the sixth highest career passing rate in NFL history, listed as the number 1 NFL player today by the Sporting News, and Fox Sports named his player of the decade.  A recipient of the Walter Payton Man of the Year 2005 plus taking the Colts to a Super Bowl win in 2007.  I enjoy the humor he exhibits during skits on SNL, commercials, and even voice overs for The Simpsons. The Manning family is a football and media franchise, with his father Archie and QB brother Eli, they run the Manning Passing Academy and co authored a book entitled Family Huddle.  Peyton started his own charity called the Peyback Foundation which helps disadvantaged kids in the states of Louisiana, Indiana, and Tennessee.  He contributed an undisclosed amount to Indianapolis St Vincents Hospital which thereafter renamed its childrens hospital to the ‘Peyton Manning Childrens Hospital at St Vincent’.  All this helps me to overlook his contributions to the Republican party. Peyton shows with his actions off the field, he is a man that helps to redefine sexy. Reliable, witty, and charitable.

Drew Brees-New Orleans Saints QB

Purdue! Purdue! Saints! Saints!  This guy’s got great taste!  Selected five times to the Pro Bowl, Offensive Player of the year in 2008, MVP of Superbowl XLIV, holding 12 NFL records, 21 Saints franchise records, took the Saints to a Superbowl win in 2009, named Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year in 2010, and finally the Walter Payton Man of the Year in 2006.  Now you can breath, that was a long list. He married his college sweetheart Brittney in 2003, and together they have two sons Baylen and Bowen. Drew has been involved in the recovery process of Hurricane Katrina, created a foundation with his wife- the ‘Brees Dream Foundation’ which partners with Operation Kids (see http://www.drewbrees.com for more information on ways the charity benefits the community), and in 2010 President Obama appointed him co-chair of the newly renamed President Council on Fitness, Sports and Nutrition.  What I think charmed me most was after his Superbowl win,  he lifted his young son up with tears in his eyes. Drew is a Superbowl success, charitable person, humble, and a man who loves his family- thats sexy.

Honorable Mentions: Current players:Larry Fitzgerald, Aaron Rodgers, and Tony Gonzalez.  Posthumously: Pat Tillman and Reggie White.

I realize I did not include the uber sexy Cam Newton because I believe he needs more time to ripen; maybe next year he will shine on Anton Therapy’s List of the NFL’s Top Sexiest Players.

With all these strong & successful football men, would you call them “Supermodel Sexy”?  Maybe they need to take the sexytester.com too.

Sexiness is so subjective, lets concur that it is found both inside and outside of the person.  Come on….now make your sexy list!


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